Read more about the article I’m struggling a bit tonight
My thoughts

I’m struggling a bit tonight

I'm getting divorced on Tuesday morning and there are a few things Lizze wanted from the house. It was kinda like a scavanger hunt because I couldn't find some of these things at first. After a few phones calls back and forth, I managed to locate most of what she was looking for. There are some items in the attic but they're staying there until I gut it, hopefully this spring. Anyway, I emptied my closet completely for the first time since she left and I came across quite a few memories that hurt to remember. They would otherwise be positive memories, and perhaps with time, someday they will be again. Everything is collected into about four or five boxes and they're just sitting in my room, waiting to be…

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February 7, 2021
Read more about the article My life will forever change next week but I’m going to be okay
Depression / My thoughts

My life will forever change next week but I’m going to be okay

I realized this morning that my marriage will officially be over in a week. I'm sure it will be the main topic in therapy this week. This whole thing is a mixed bag for me because letting go of something that was so important to me is incredibly difficult. There's a roller coaster of emotions surrounding this and as I'm laying here on the couch, listening to my kids kids playing upstairs, I'm getting emotional. I've been talking to my therapist about this a lot and last week, she was pretty blunt with me. She's a little concerned that while I may be doing okay right now, next Tuesday could be a very different story. I'm managing my depression as well as can be expected under all these insane conditions.…

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February 1, 2021
Read more about the article I’m getting divorced: What I’m grateful for and few other updates
My thoughts

I’m getting divorced: What I’m grateful for and few other updates

The boys are still sleeping and Gavin's IVIG Infusion is going. The only noise I hear at the moment is the filter in the aquarium because the tank needs water added. It sounds like a water fall but not the calm, relaxing kind. It's super annoying and I will dump some water in when I'm done with this. After the inauguration, I just sorta crashed. Trump, COVID and my divorce, I have had me extremely stressed out and the last few days have been one long exhale. I figure there's no time like to present to get you an overdue update and so here I am. As I mentioned, the boys are still asleep. It's a no school day and I'm letting them sleep. Frankly, aside from the fish tank,…

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January 22, 2021
Read more about the article I got a break for the first time since September
Divorce / My thoughts

I got a break for the first time since September

It's been a couple days and I wanted to share something before I crash for the night. This will be brief because I'm exhausted and I'll try to follow up later. The other day, I called Lizze to find out if they'd been locked down for at least 14 days. They had been and so I suggested making arrangements for the boys to go over for a few days. It's been since September and that's really hard on her and the kids. We had decided to shut visits down until COVID was under control. That's the only reason she hasn't seen them. Since the insurrection at the Capitol Building and the current threats for this coming week, as well as how much worse COVID is getting, I thought we should…

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January 16, 2021
Read more about the article A few concerns have bubbled to the surface today
My thoughts

A few concerns have bubbled to the surface today

Gavin missed his IVIG Infusion yesterday because his supplies never showed up. I called the pharmacy and they are apparently waiting on a new order from his doctor. They expect to have that some time today and then we should get the supplies this week sometime. This always makes me nervous and I know it upsets Gavin because not only does it break his routine but he also misses an infusion. As much as he hates these life saving infusions, he hates missing them even more. He's feeling a little better knowing that he might have his supplies before his next scheduled Infusion on Friday. Mr. Emmett hasn't been feeling well today. He ended up in my room at some point last night because he had a stomach ache. He…

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January 12, 2021
Read more about the article Communicating with my adult #autistic son
Gavin / My thoughts

Communicating with my adult #autistic son

I've mentioned this a few times before but Gavin and I have a unique relationship. We're very very close and direct with each other. I've learned over 20 years that Gavin needs people to be very direct with him. If you give him any room to interpret the meaning in your words, he will often struggle to understand. That's just part of who he is and that's okay. From the outside, it can seem like I'm being mean but in reality, I'm not. If I used this approach with someone else, I might agree but sometimes we have to cater our approach to the needs of the person we're trying to approach. Here's an example of what I'm talking about. If Gavin is talking too much, which he's known to…

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January 10, 2021
Read more about the article T-minus 30 Days
Divorce / Inspirational Posts / Link / My thoughts

T-minus 30 Days

We're just beginning to wade into 2021 and there are already some major changes coming our way. Perhaps the most important is the finalization of my divorce. Lizze and I learned that exactly 30 days from today, our divorce will be final. That's a good deal faster than either one of us had planned on. We had projected that we would be looking at the second or third week in February at the earliest. This really doesn't change anything but it just pushes the date forward a bit. Nothing aside from that has changed. I guess I was knocked back a little because I had prepared myself for a later date but I supposed sooner is better than later. The kids are aware of this and while they aren't aware…

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January 9, 2021
Read more about the article We need to have a talk
Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

We need to have a talk

So apparently I was on TV again over the last few days. I didn't know anything about it. My brother messaged me last night to say that he was going through the guide on his TV and he heard my voice in the background. He clicked over and BAM there I was. I guess is was a supercut from several of the interviews I'd given ABC News in 2020. I don't know because I haven't seen it. I had been hearing from people over the last few days that they'd seen me on TV as well. These are people I've never met before and they felt compelled to reach out after hearing me speak. Everyone was very nice and I love hearing from my readers/followers/listeners. What was a bit worrisome…

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January 3, 2021