The truth is, I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, worried, stressed out, broke and fearful of what tomorrow will bring but I'm also incredibly proud of everyone
It's been a minute since I've written anything publicly. I spent some time today writing but it was painful and unfortunately, necessary. I'm hoping to move forward now and put some of this recent shit in the rear view. All I can do is try. Life simply sucks sometimes, no matter now hard you try to see the positive. Life can suck even when there's plenty of positive things to celebrate as well. I've been struggling a great deal recently and if I'm ever able to explain in more detail, I will. For now, I'll simply say things have been difficult and this doesn't have anything to do with Lizze or the kids. This is all stuff from my childhood. I find it very challenging to focus on the things…
In those moments, we're not worried about appointments, money, meds, meltdowns or anything else related to being an Autism and Special Needs parent.
I feel that it's important to be honest and transparent about where I'm at because it helps with context. It also shows how life can make the already difficult job of being an Autism/Special Needs Parent, way more difficult.
This post is all about the struggles I face as a full-time caregiver.
If we lose sight of the good, we'll drown in the negative.
We had a difficult day today. I'm on edge and the boys have been cooped up for too long. Gavin's been freaking out a lot lately and Lizze is still struggling with losing her grandmother a couple weeks ago. It's been one thing after another and today was just tough on all of us. Having said that and in the spirit of Thanksgiving, there are a few things that happened today that I'm incredibly thankful for. For starters, Elliott still has a nasty cough but is otherwise feeling better. That's a very good thing and with any luck, he'll continue to improve. Eariler today, I was sitting in bed writing when I heard Emmett crying. Lizze and I were trying to figure out what had happened. He's wasn't talking about…
We've all been cooped up in the house together for way too long because and everything came to a head this afternoon. I basically lost my cool and yelled at Elliott who was pushing my buttons. I swore at him and that is unacceptable. I should have been the adult but I was apparently incapable in that moment. There are reasons for my current demeanor but those reasons only explain why I snapped, they don't excuse it. Anyway, we ended up having a family meeting and hashed some things out. I apologized to everyone for yelling and I'm going to go walking before I take the kids to therapy tonight. I don't really want to go walking but I clearly need the constructive outlet. We have bad weather blowing in…