A few reasons why I think the word “normal” gets a bad rap and why needing feel normal is okay

I’m super excited because the kids are going to their grandparents tonight. I get that some may see that as harsh but it’s not meant to be that way.

The fact is, Lizze and I haven’t had a break in long time.

Autism and Special Needs parenting has an impact on how time passes. It doesn’t really but not having a serious break for a month or two can feel like years because of the extreme levels of unending responsibility and stress.



The last time we had a break, we didn’t get to do anything because Lizze wasn’t feeling well. While the break helped, at least a little bit, what we desperately need is to have a sense of normalcy.

I know that normal is a bad word to many in the Special Needs community but the reality is, as human beings, we all need to feel normal. The thing about normal is that it’s different for everyone.

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  • BeckyW says:

    I have 2 things to say. (1) You’re right, we all need normal although what is normal varies from person to person, as you pointed out. Your description means “being able to forget the horrible stress for awhile, especially in the company of my wife.” My description might be: “watching an old favorite TV show that makes me remember the happy times as a kid,” or “doing a pleasant activity that reminds me of being young and happy, and having it make me happy still.” As in watching classic Hawaii-5O and playing musical instruments. OR getting out to have breakfast with Bob. So it sounds like activities that reduce stress and make us happy are normal.

    (2) I have serious, severe TMJD (jaw pain, jaw disorder) and gave up a musical career because of it. If you are clenching your teeth you really should see your dentist and get a TMJD plate. It helps and even if it doesn’t always stop you from clenching your teeth, will keep the jaw angle open. Still, one of its main helps is to remind you that you clench your teeth. Now, it’s a pain to talk with one in. You can learn to do so, possibly with a slight lisp. Or you can wear it whenever you know you won’t be talking. But if you are actively clenching you really should consult a dentist.

    Hope you all got out!