It’s time to get brutally honest about #Autism Parenting (pt 1)

One of the things I feel is really important for people to understand, is some of the challenges that families like mine face.  I will only speak for myself here but I encourage you to chime in with your experience below in the comments.

Autism is one of those things that impacts a family in ways that can’t really be quantified.



As a single Dad, raising 3 boys in different places on the Autism Spectrum, I can share some of the challenges that I personally struggle with.  These challenges are things that many people don’t like to talk about and I’ll likely get criticized by some for sharing them but the reality is that the truth isn’t always pretty.

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I don’t think there’s an area of my life that isn’t somehow impacted by Autism.



As an Autism Parent with about 14 years of experience, I still find myself at a loss.  I’ve picked up some tricks along the way but because Autism is such a dynamic human condition, experience doesn’t always translate into knowing what to do.

Having 3 boys in different places on the Autism Spectrum makes things challenging for me because they each have unique and often conflicting needs.

Read This  (Poll) Does the world treat your special needs family fairly?

On my very best day, I’m still only one person and there isn’t even close to enough of me to go around. That means I live every single day with the heartbreaking knowledge that I’m never enough to meet their needs.  This leads me to the enormous amount of crushing guilt I experience for everything.

As an Autism parent, I feel guilty for so many things, both within and outside of my control.

I feel guilty that I can’t make things better for my kids.

I feel guilty that I can’t provide a better life for my kids.

I feel guilty because I’m so tired all the time.

I feel guilty everytime I see my kids struggle.

I feel guilty when I get frustrated with them for things outside of their control.

I feel guilty because I’m often too busy putting out fires that keep popping up that I never seem to make any progress.

Read This  Almost everyone, had a tough time sleeping

I feel guilty because I can’t keep up with the house.

I feel guilty because sometimes I resent my kids behaviors, even though I know it’s not their fault.

I feel guilty because no matter how much I try I’ll never be enough to meet their needs.

I feel guilty because sometimes I just want to run away screaming.

I feel guilty because I don’t have as much patience as I feel I should have.

I feel guilty because their Mom left.

I feel guilty for just not wanting to be bothered sometimes.

I feel guilty for saying I have to use the bathroom, just to get a few minutes of quiet time to myself.

I feel guilty forcing my kids to go to school when they’re obviously in distress but have already missed too many days.

I feel guilty that I can’t stay on top of the bills.

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7 Comments on "It’s time to get brutally honest about #Autism Parenting (pt 1)"

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Sophie Wegat
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Have

Sophie Wegat
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Have

Sophie Wegat
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Forgive me if this has been discussed before but have you tried melatonin for your boys sleep issues. There’s been a lot of positive feedback for it helping kids on the spectrum get to and stay asleep.

Rob Gorski
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Nothing to be forgiven for. I was just trying to reply to your previous comment that just said Have, when it disappeared.. lol As for melatonin.. I keep a constant supply in my house. In fact, I panic if I forgot to replenish the supply and I have to try and do bedtime without it. The younger 2 take 5mg a night and it seems to help. Well it definitely helps but sometimes it doesn’t work very well. I might ask their doc if I can bump it up when needed…. ☺ Anyway, excellent advice. You’d be surprised how many… Read more »
Sophie Wegat
Guest

Forgive me if this has been discussed before but have you tried melatonin for your boys sleep issues. There’s been a lot of positive feedback for it helping kids on the spectrum get to and stay asleep.

Rob Gorski
Guest
Nothing to be forgiven for. I was just trying to reply to your previous comment that just said Have, when it disappeared.. lol As for melatonin.. I keep a constant supply in my house. In fact, I panic if I forgot to replenish the supply and I have to try and do bedtime without it. The younger 2 take 5mg a night and it seems to help. Well it definitely helps but sometimes it doesn’t work very well. I might ask their doc if I can bump it up when needed…. ☺ Anyway, excellent advice. You’d be surprised how many… Read more »
Man-II-Man
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I read your post and what I noticed was courage and perseverance , yes there was frustration and pain but there was no quit in your post. You were right when identifying your guilt we all have experienced some of those guilty feelings, but I say again there was no quit in your words. There was love in your words, and when you love you have no limits and love in this autism community you have no pride. When I say no pride, I mean we do not care about stares, we do not care about opinions, and lastly we… Read more »