#Autism and Issues with Sleep are Killing Me

This is going to be very short and to the point.  I’m fucking exhausted. Both Elliott and Emmett are awake and show no signs of slowing down. It’s currently 2 am and my body just wants to shutdown.

Elliott’s not been sleeping well at all since the bullying thing started up again. It may just be coincidence but that’s just when this particular sleep issue began.

Emmett was actually sleeping until he woke up at midnight to use the bathroom and realized Elliott was awake.

I basically had a choice of making them go to their rooms and try to sleep, while I did the same or just cut my losses and move to the living room.

I chose the later because it had the best chance of sleep.

Elliott and I are on the couches and Emmett’s on his ginormous beanbag.

I managed to get them laying down but they are having a helluva hard time falling asleep. Thank God they don’t have school in the morning.

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marjorieromeo10

What happens if you make them stay in their room?

They are old enough to entertain themselves…so what is the harm If they remain quiet (but awake) in their rooms until morning?

I know I have asked before, but my kids can’t leave the room until 7am…it’s a rule and there are very little exceptions to it.

Do they keep the grandparents up all night when they are there? How do they handle it?

paulinabisson5

I’m not familiar with your kids or if that have any challenges. In a typical situation, that would work but with kids on the Autism Spectrum, leaving them alone all night isn’t something I’m comfortable with. Most parents I speak with are in the same boat.

Kids on the Autism Spectrum are wired very differently than typical kids and their thought processes, can lead them away from where they are supposed to be staying and into trouble.

Sleeping at their Grandparents can go really well or not so good. These are sleeping issues in general and not necessarily isolated to home. I think the change in environment helps them to sleep sometimes though.

marjorieromeo10

So what would your kids do if left in their room? I get that some kids might wander, but I thought that is why you had your house wired with cameras

kimmy gebhardt

I wonder if they would sleep better if they weren’t sharing a room? Emmett not going back to sleep sounds less like autism and more like him wanting to be up because his brother was up. I know that even as an adult I can have a hard time sleeping well if someone is in the room watching tv or listening to music. I also have to ask if they sleep when they spend the night at their grandparent’s house?

bwiren

How about if they had their own MP3/MP4 music players? I know that these players don’t have to be expensive (if you’re not getting an iPod!). I was just looking at these at Amazon.com and they look inexpensive. Of course, I don’t know all the logistics. I have a bunch of iTunes that I can’t play on my Chromebook, so I just listen to Youtube all the time. 🙂

Jimmy Rock

You referenced the bullying in your post, and although I wanted to comment in your other post which more directly addressed the bullying, I was having trouble doing so, so I’ll put my comment here instead. Sorry if it loses context a little bit as a result.

With respect to people’s reactions when they hear about bullying, I understand the reactionary comments and impulses but your reasoned approach is a much better method for any number of reasons. Obviously you’re setting an example for your kids about conflict resolution, and I hope you’re explaining to the kids about how you’re meeting with school staff about it, etc. You also have to deal with the school personnel for a number of years. It’s in your best interest to have a cordial relationship where they see that you’re a caring parent, but also one that will call them out, in a reasonable manner, in order to make sure they’re doing their jobs as they relate to your kids. Plus this is a valuable opportunity to teach Elliott how to deal with a-holes — or, if the kid isn’t an a-hole, a challenging social situation. Whether it’s an a-hole or a challenging social situations, those things aren’t going away and he’s going to have to learn how to deal with them throughout his life. Might as well take advantage of the opportunity to have him learn in a controlled environment.

The only quibble I would have is with your solution if things don’t move forward “in an appropriate way”; that you will “simply keep Elliott home.” That should be seen as an absolute last resort thing if Elliott is simply not safe at school and the school is doing nothing about it. You’ve been down this road before. You should have confidence in your ability to manage the school’s approach, as well as in being able to teach Elliott appropriate coping skills, so that such an option is really the furthest thing from your mind. It’s not really an option which would be good for you or him, and there are so many things that would have to happen, and so much you should do before that would even remotely become a consideration, so why cavalierly throw that out there at this point? You’re doing fine, You’re on top on it. The school is working with you. Just take it from there. Best of luck.

Dutch Stevens

What happens if you make them stay in their room?

They are old enough to entertain themselves…so what is the harm If they remain quiet (but awake) in their rooms until morning?

I know I have asked before, but my kids can’t leave the room until 7am…it’s a rule and there are very little exceptions to it.

Do they keep the grandparents up all night when they are there? How do they handle it?

Dutch Stevens

So what would your kids do if left in their room? I get that some kids might wander, but I thought that is why you had your house wired with cameras

Suzanne Olsen

Hang in there. Not good to hear this.

I am there with you mine hardly sleeps and I don’t sleep til he does or he goes to school

Suzanne Olsen

Hang in there. Not good to hear this.

I am there with you mine hardly sleeps and I don’t sleep til he does or he goes to school

adriannecollee

I wonder if they would sleep better if they weren’t sharing a room? Emmett not going back to sleep sounds less like autism and more like him wanting to be up because his brother was up. I know that even as an adult I can have a hard time sleeping well if someone is in the room watching tv or listening to music. I also have to ask if they sleep when they spend the night at their grandparent’s house?

paulinabisson5

That’s a good question.. I’m not sure how they would sleep alone. Elliott would be okay but Emmett would be scared. Unfortunately, we don’t have the ability to really test that out.

They both need music to fall asleep. They just can’t always agree in what to listen to.. Typical brother thing. As far as sleeping at their Grandparents house goes, I think that’s a mixed bag. Sometimes they sleep really well and other times, not so much.

These are sleep issues in general..

mathewpenny648

How about if they had their own MP3/MP4 music players? I know that these players don’t have to be expensive (if you’re not getting an iPod!). I was just looking at these at Amazon.com and they look inexpensive. Of course, I don’t know all the logistics. I have a bunch of iTunes that I can’t play on my Chromebook, so I just listen to Youtube all the time. 🙂

Jimmy Rock

You referenced the bullying in your post, and although I wanted to comment in your other post which more directly addressed the bullying, I was having trouble doing so, so I’ll put my comment here instead. Sorry if it loses context a little bit as a result.

With respect to people’s reactions when they hear about bullying, I understand the reactionary comments and impulses but your reasoned approach is a much better method for any number of reasons. Obviously you’re setting an example for your kids about conflict resolution, and I hope you’re explaining to the kids about how you’re meeting with school staff about it, etc. You also have to deal with the school personnel for a number of years. It’s in your best interest to have a cordial relationship where they see that you’re a caring parent, but also one that will call them out, in a reasonable manner, in order to make sure they’re doing their jobs as they relate to your kids. Plus this is a valuable opportunity to teach Elliott how to deal with a-holes — or, if the kid isn’t an a-hole, a challenging social situation. Whether it’s an a-hole or a challenging social situations, those things aren’t going away and he’s going to have to learn how to deal with them throughout his life. Might as well take advantage of the opportunity to have him learn in a controlled environment.

The only quibble I would have is with your solution if things don’t move forward “in an appropriate way”; that you will “simply keep Elliott home.” That should be seen as an absolute last resort thing if Elliott is simply not safe at school and the school is doing nothing about it. You’ve been down this road before. You should have confidence in your ability to manage the school’s approach, as well as in being able to teach Elliott appropriate coping skills, so that such an option is really the furthest thing from your mind. It’s not really an option which would be good for you or him, and there are so many things that would have to happen, and so much you should do before that would even remotely become a consideration, so why cavalierly throw that out there at this point? You’re doing fine, You’re on top on it. The school is working with you. Just take it from there. Best of luck.

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