I’m getting divorced: What I’m grateful for and few other updates

The boys are still sleeping and Gavin’s IVIG Infusion is going. The only noise I hear at the moment is the filter in the aquarium because the tank needs water added. It sounds like a water fall but not the calm, relaxing kind. It’s super annoying and I will dump some water in when I’m done with this.

After the inauguration, I just sorta crashed. Trump, COVID and my divorce, I have had me extremely stressed out and the last few days have been one long exhale.

I figure there’s no time like to present to get you an overdue update and so here I am.

As I mentioned, the boys are still asleep. It’s a no school day and I’m letting them sleep. Frankly, aside from the fish tank, I’m enjoying the peace and quiet. We had a little hiccup this morning in regards to Gavin’s IVIG Infusion.

I mentioned this on Monday and I knew it was likely to be an issue today as well. He missed two infusions last week due to issues with his script. As a result of his routine being disrupted, he’s very nervous about doing these infusions himself now. On Monday, I did it for him but today, he was struggling to place the needles again.

I happened to be on the phone with Lizze talking about something school related for Elliott when Gavin came down the steps in tears. My call dropped, which is a frustrating and ongoing issue with my phone lately. Sorry Lizze, I didn’t hang up on you.

Anyway, Gavin was really upset because he kept hesitating when he was about to put the needles in his belly. Honestly, who wouldn’t hesitate when it comes to something like that. I certainly don’t hold that against him. I firmly believe that Gavin is the single bravest human being I have ever met in my life.

I wasn’t sure if he was asking me to do the needles for him or if he was just venting frustration with himself. Either way, I knew it was really important for Gavin to work through this on his own. I had him bring his supplies downstairs and I simply talked him through it. He thinks a bit differently than many other people and he didn’t understand why his hands were not pressing the needles into his belly. I explained that his hands weren’t doing it because he didn’t want them to.

I reminded him that he has complete control over his hands and if he really wanted to, he could make his hands do whatever he wanted them to do.

I also talked with him about how this is probably happening because he missed both infusions last week, and as a result, he’s most likely just a bit nervous. Hearing those words helped him to connect the dots and within a few minutes, he had placed both needles and completed the process, all on his own.

The infusion with take at least an hour, assuming there aren’t any problems.

Gavin did so well and I’m incredibly proud of him. He just needed a little encouragement and a gentle reminder as to why he was so nervous. Once he placed the needles, he felt so much better because he did it himself. The look on his face was priceless. I mean, he didn’t enjoy the pain but he looked quite proud of himself and for good reason.

He’s quietly watching TV in his room, so that means everything is going well thus far.

I’m sitting on the couch because Emmett is currently monopolizing my bed and I wanted to let him sleep. There are a few things coming down the shoot that I wanted to make you all aware of in regards to this blog.

In the coming weeks, I have a whole slew of reviews that I’ll be publishing. I’ve received a ton of review items in 2021 already and I want to knock those out. I’ll be reviewing things from propane grills, autism awareness jewelry, masks, sensory tools, jigsaw puzzles for an amazing cause, to things like wireless ear buds, air purifiers and much more. The more I can get done, the more that will be coming in. This is a really cool experience and I had backed off of doing these when Lizze left because I was just so overwhelmed. I have found my footing and these are all things that help me grow the business, expand my reach, help more people and better provide for my family.

It’s going to be a lot of work but it’s worth it.

As far as the podcast is concerned, I think season 4 will release either the first or second week of February. The first two episodes are already recorded. One is already mixed and just in need of some finishing touches. I have three ads to record and more interviews on the schedule as well.

The first episode experienced some technical issues do to connectivity and bandwidth problems but I think it will work for the most part. The reality is that doing anything online anymore is not going to be perfect and since these interviews are conducted online, I’m at the mercy of the connection on my side and the connection on theirs. It’s real life. Anyway, that’s where we stand with the podcast.

I’m always looking for guests so if you’re interested in sharing your story or speaking as a professional, shoot me an email and we’ll set something up.

I had mentioned above that my pending divorce was one of my recent stressors. It’s coming down to the wire and everything is finally done. Lizze and I both had to take this parenting class online. It was honestly pretty awful and it took about four hours but we’re both done. All we have to do is show up on February 9th and it’s over. I don’t see this as a cause for celebration in the slightest. It’s going to be painful for me and I’m a firm believer in the sanctity of marriage. When I made that commitment, I meant it. I know this is the right thing to do and I’m not questioning that. I’ve accepted this and for the most part, have moved on.

I will actually come face to face with the end of my nearly twenty year marriage on February 9th and that’s going to make this very real, very fast.

On the other hand, it will bring some much needed closure. Even if COVID weren’t a thing, I wouldn’t have given myself permission to move on with that part of my life until I was officially divorced. I’m sad but looking forward to this, all at the same time and it’s a bit dizzying.

That said, who doesn’t like a fresh start? Everyone gets along and there’s zero drama. We’re still a parenting team and in my view, that’s such a hugely positive thing. Divorce is sometimes a necessary evil but it doesn’t have to lead to parental warfare. I’m so grateful everything has worked out the way it has and I feel incredibly lucky. As hard as this has been on the kids, they are definitely benefiting from Lizze and I being adults about everything.

That about sums things up for the moment. It’s really cold outside and we’ve got snow showers starting. I’m going to finish this up and just enjoy the quiet, as well as the scenery a bit more before the house awakens.

Take care. Stay safe.

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Patricia Howie

You mentioned Gavin being hesitant about the pain–does his doctor offer the pre-dose numbing cream for the site? For years, I selected the sites on my abdomen, cleaned them off with alcohol wipes, put a daub of creme on it, then put Primapore dressings over the sites (I have five, once a week) and waited for an hour. Take off the dressings, wipe them off again with alcohol wipes, and then place the needles. It makes the insertion of the needles virtually painless. The cream, if it gets on clothing, will stain, so I saved back my old tees and shirts to wear for the procedure. I quit using it last fall–I decided to just do it without, as my treatment takes almost three hours alone without the pretreatment time. But it certainly does cut down the pain!

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