Read more about the article I don’t want to feel like this anymore
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I don’t want to feel like this anymore

I have a doctor's appointment this morning to discuss managing my ADHD with medication.  This has been a long time coming and I'm excited/nervous.  We're also going to talk about my antidepressants as well. This is so important, especially as I'm continuing to struggle. I'm looking forward to putting some of this struggle behind me or at least becoming better equipt to manage it.  I don't expect it to be an easy, overnight change but rather a process.  It's going to take time but I will take back control over my life and continue moving forward. On my way to the doctor I don't want to feel like this anymore. It's awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Giving up isn't an option for me, so I need to…

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August 8, 2022
Read more about the article #Depression can be different for everyone but this is how it impacts me
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#Depression can be different for everyone but this is how it impacts me

I wanted to point something out about depression, at least as it applies to me. When I find myself in a darker place, I don't think I've ever had the urge to hurt myself, at least not that I can remember. When I'm struggling like I am, the struggle is not related to not wanting to live anymore. I struggle with things like getting out of bed, participating in life, focusing on the positive, getting to the gym, taking care of myself, sleeping, unhealthy eating, and a general loss of interest in many things I typically enjoy. Not everyone who's dealing with depression will struggle with suicidal thoughts. The reality is that we're all different and experience things in different ways. There are plenty of people who will struggle with…

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July 27, 2022
Read more about the article I’m trying to focus on doing better
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I’m trying to focus on doing better

Today was pretty rough. I spent a good chunk of it sleeping. It's been body aches, headaches, nausea, cold sweats, and of course, my personal favorite, extreme exhaustion. I haven't eaten much today and I've been trying to stay hydrated as best I can. I ended up mowing the lawn this evening and I definitely regret that decision. It was so hot but the yard was only going to get longer. It's supposed to storm tonight and I wanted to try and push myself to get it done. Not one of my better decisions, if I'm being honest. Emmett and I also took the dogs around the block a couple of times before I called it quits for the day. It wasn't a super long walk but I want to…

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July 21, 2022
Read more about the article I’ve discovered plant therapy and it’s amazing
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I’ve discovered plant therapy and it’s amazing

It's been a really long week but I have accomplished at least some of what I set out to accomplish. That's something. Yesterday, I sorta spent the day immersed in plant therapy. Emmett and I spent some time at Petitti Garden Center. It's one of the three dangerous stores for me to visit when I'm feeling depressed. It goes Best Buy, Petitti, and Home Depot. They're dangerous because I can always find something I need. All I needed was potting soil because I was potting my recently transplanted ferns. They started dying outside and I've been saving them one by one. I dig them up and plant them in a pot. All the potted ones are doing great, but I ran out of potting soil, Emmett also wanted a cactus.…

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July 16, 2022
Read more about the article I went to bed feeling like I was a decent Dad last night
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I went to bed feeling like I was a decent Dad last night

I'm really trying to push through all this shit today. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing okay and other times I feel like I'm broken. I've been really focused on work lately because I'm getting slammed, which is good but it's also painfully obvious that I'm a one man operation. My goal right now is continued growth and meeting the needs of the community. I've been going back and forth over the best ways to do that. After a good bit of thought, I've made the decision to add a second episode each week, and I know what you're thinking. Rob, why would you add more work for yourself when you're already spread too thin? Great question. The second episode is less than 10 minutes long and I'm answering listener…

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July 15, 2022
Read more about the article The truth is I’m really struggling right now
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The truth is I’m really struggling right now

It's been a minute since I've written anything. While this is the part where I usually apologize for that, I'm not going to do that anymore. The reason is because it ends up feeding this insane level of guilt that I feel for not writing and I need to stop that. The truth is that I'm struggling a bit right now. Honestly, I'm struggling more than a bit right now. I don't know why I try to downplay it. I want to try and explain what I'm experiencing, as it might help someone else out there feel a little less alone. I feel like I'm spread way too thin. The reality is that in some ways, I probably am, while in others, maybe not so much. I know that sounds…

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July 12, 2022
Read more about the article I’m 43 years old and I think I might have ADHD?
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I’m 43 years old and I think I might have ADHD?

Recently, I've begun to wonder if I might have ADHD. I'm 43 years old and never once thought that to be the case. There is ADHD in my family, and both the younger boys carry that diagnosis, as does their mom. I've watched them over the years and seen how ADHD impacts their lives. I've not seen any of those struggles in myself. I'm not very impulsive and certainly not hyperactive. A few weeks ago, I read an article about other ways ADHD can present, especially in adults. Forgetfulness, failing to follow through, struggling to focus on the task at hand, and being easily distracted, among other things. I don't forget important things, but little things seem to slip through the cracks, which seems weird. I struggle with focus. That's…

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January 7, 2022
Read more about the article How do you know if your depression is adequately managed?
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How do you know if your depression is adequately managed?

I've been paying a great deal more attention to my depression lately because I can feel it creeping in as the holiday approaches. Admittedly, I've not been working out as I should be, and part of that is probably depression-related as well. At the same time, I could be forcing myself to go, but I'm not. I feel run down and lack the energy necessary to expend during a workout. I'm also fully aware that I would feel so much better if I pushed through it and hit the gym, even if it wasn't for the full 90 minutes. The truth is, sometimes I get in my own way. Anyway, I've been looking at different ways to control my depression better, and I thought I would share some of the…

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December 15, 2021