Read more about the article It can be hard to not drown in all the negativity
My thoughts

It can be hard to not drown in all the negativity

I've been feeling a little overwhelmed this week. Elliott is having sleep problems and he's in full on stubborn teenage mode. That means I can't get a great deal of cooperation from him in regards to getting his sleep cycle reset. He's stressed out and probably a bit depressed. I think that's completely understandable but we need to right this ship because it interferes with school and it's simply not healthy. That was the focus of therapy tonight. Hopefully, we can begin getting him back on track. I've opted to skip this week's podcast release because I have to much work that needs to get done and production is very time consuming. I could cramm everything in but that would increase my stress levels and I'm trying to be kind…

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March 2, 2021
Read more about the article I’ve been feeling overwhelmed today
My thoughts

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed today

I'm finding myself feeling a bit overwhelmed today. I'm relieved that Gavin is less vulnerable to COVID because that's been a big worry for a long time. I'm relieved that the boys are doing better in school because remote learning has been a challenge. I'm also relieved that I won the power struggle with the stupid dog over going potty outside. Work has been incredibly slow this month, meaning March is going to be a leaner month and will likely present some challenges. That could literally change at any time though because I pick up new client all the time, some big and some small. I'm working on a few longer term projects at the moment and invoicing is still a couple weeks out. I've spent the last few days…

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February 23, 2021
Read more about the article How I’m doing after increasing my antidepressant
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How I’m doing after increasing my antidepressant

I mentioned last week that I would be speaking to my doctor about bumping up my antidepressant. After discussing things, we decided to double my current dose. I've been on 20mg/day of Prozac and I'm now on 40mg/day. I think I'm on day four or five of the new dose and there really isn't any news to report. It's likely to be a few weeks before I see any changes, if I'm going to see any changes. It may be a little faster because I've already been on Prozac for a couple of years. Either way, I feel good about the change. Outside of that, I need to lower my triglycerides a bit and continue losing weight. I'm in good health and I will rerun my labs in six months…

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February 22, 2021
Read more about the article Why I’m increasing my antidepressant today
Confessions / Depression Management / Medications / My thoughts

Why I’m increasing my antidepressant today

I gave myself one week to grieve the loss of my marriage and that week was officially over. While I'm not hitting the ground running, at least as quickly as I was hoping, I am moving forward. In a little while, I have an appointment with my PCP over the phone, due to COVID. I've made the decision to talk to my doctor about increasing my antidepressant. The reason behind this is that I recognize that everything has taken a toll on me and while I'm not defeated, I'm also not in total control either. Depression is influencing me a bit more than I'm comfortable with right now, and frankly, it has been. The last couple of years have been difficult and I've been dealing with a lot. COVID has…

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February 17, 2021
Read more about the article I’m reprioritizing my daily life
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I’m reprioritizing my daily life

I'm kinda pushing myself to get through today. Nothing drastic has changed but I'm feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I'm relieved that my life is finally moving forward and I can begin implementing some of the things I've been waiting to do. That's all positive. At the same time, however, I feel depleted and out of sorts. I slept pretty good last night and that's good. The problem I believe, is more about the years of stress, pain, and exhaustion that have culminated since 2014. All of that has finally reached its conclusion, and I don't have to be strong or stoic anymore for myself or my kids. I'm able to let myself feel these things now. I'm starting over and in order to do that, I have to go through…

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February 14, 2021
Read more about the article Having reasonable expectations for myself
My thoughts

Having reasonable expectations for myself

It's Thursday and that means the last day of school for the week. Fridays are deemed independent work days and that essentially means that it's a day where the kids get caught up on any school work they haven't finished. If they're current, it's a free day. I'm pretty sure both boys are caught up but I'll know for sure after they're done with school today. I went to bed in a not so good place and woke up feeling better. Emmett must have had a nightmare because I woke up several times because he kicked me. When I fell asleep last night, Emmett was safely tucked into his own bed and fast asleep. I'm not sure what happened. Either way, I'm glad I could be there for him to…

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February 11, 2021
Read more about the article A long overdue emotional exhale
My thoughts

A long overdue emotional exhale

I feel like my day started off amazingly well and then it slowly, methodically descended into chaos as the day went on. I managed to get some work done but not enough and that's really frustrating me. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and in the process of figuring out how to go about building a new life. Emmett is struggling because he apparently was under the impression the divorce had been finalized for a long time. When it discovered that it wasn't going to be finalized until yesterday, it really upset him. I didn't know he had misunderstood the situation for so long and I'm not sure what lead to the confusion. Unfortunately, he now feels like the whole thing has been reopened. He's on a hair trigger right now and it's…

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February 10, 2021
Read more about the article Why I don’t believe time heals all wounds
Divorce / Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

Why I don’t believe time heals all wounds

Yesterday was honestly one of the hardest days of my life but I survived. My marriage of nearly two decades officially came to an end, oddly enough, with the same words that it began with, I do. Our court hearing took place over the phone, at my attorney's office. It's kinda weird doing something like this over the phone but COVID has changed a great many things on our daily lives. The whole process took only a few minutes and it basically ended with the Lizze and I each being asked if we wanted to the court to adopt our agreement. I hadn't recognized the irony of answering that question with I do until 24 hours later, as I was writing this. The question was asked something like this. Robert,…

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February 10, 2021