A quick but important update

I just wanted to push out a super quick update before going to bed. It's been a long couple of days and they are taking a toll on me. I'm even more stressed out since the the car died because I'm very preoccupied with replacing it and I'm kinda under the gun. I've spent the last 48 hours car shopping and it's incredibly stressful. I'm happy to share that I've secured financing as of noon today. The paperwork went through and I'm able to move forward. That's hugely positive but I'm dealing with one final obstacle and that's the down payment. I've narrowed things down to three or four cars and feel really good about it because I did it on my own. It's frustrating being held up by less…

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We lost our car and I’m hanging on by a thread tonight

I don't even know where to start. To say it's been a rough day is an understatement. We had to say goodbye to a beloved family pet this afternoon. It was pretty awful and yet we haven't even been able to face that before things got even worse. Rest in Peace Lemme 😔 💔 I met with the boys therapist alone tonight because the kids were with my Mom. I had to deal with the vet and they weren't going to be back in time to go to therapy. That's how I ended up there alone. We used the time to discuss ways of helping the kids and figuring out how to move forward. After that I was supposed to pick the kids up at my parents house. When I…

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A beautiful, painful, frustratingly fucked up journey

My Mom just picked up the kids and is taking them to my brother's house for the afternoon. They're going to be hanging out with their adorable little cousin, while my Mom babysits everyone. This serves as a very positive distraction and the kids have chosen this over going with me to the vet this afternoon. Thank God for that because I wasn't looking forward to sharing that experience with them. The boys spent the lunchtime hour saying their tearful goodbyes to Lemme. They're assuming this will be the last time they see her and while that is likely to be the case, I could find out today that her symptoms are caused by something else and she'll ultimately be fine. I'm not openly encouraging hope in this situation because…

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I just can’t fucking win today but I’ll keep trying

My life right now ranges from absolutely blessed to totally fucking shitty and there are a few stops in between. It's overwhelming and frustrating but it's also rewarding as well. I'm absolutely blessed because I have my kids, plain and simple. There is no other way to see that and I'm endlessly grateful they are such a huge part of my everyday life. They test me, try my patience and often drive me fucking crazy but they make me a better person. They remind me every minute of every day that the world is bigger than me and it helps a great deal with maintaining perspective. With that out of the way, I need to vent. I'm so overwhelmed by everything and I don't know how to get out from…

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I’m afraid my kids are going to get hit with yet another loss

It's been a challenging day so far. Emmett's glasses broke over the weekend and his backup glasses were somehow never adjusted to actually fit him properly, so they are painful to wear. He wore them to school and before I even arrived home from walking this morning, the school had called because Emmett was not feeling well and his glasses hurt. I told them that I would be in to pick him up and we'd go get his glasses ordered. We'd also get his backups adjusted so he can wear them until the new ones arrived. I figured it'd be about a week or so. I was not looking forward to a week of Emmett without his glasses. The whole not feeling good thing was combination of things. It was…

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I think I was a pretty decent Dad today

Life has sorta been swirling around me for a little while now and I'm losing track of some things. One of those things was that today being the last day of Summer. When the kids wake up in the morning, they will be waking up to the first day of Fall. I'm a big fan of the change of seasons. I had so many plans for this Summer but they've been derailed and that's okay. The kids were having a pretty good morning but began lashing out at each other as the day went on. It wasn't anything crazy but they feed off each other and things will just esculate if not redirected. Since I did all the major running around on Saturday, before they came home, we had the…

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It’s been a month and a half since my 16 year marriage ended and here’s how I’m holding up

People keep asking how I'm doing with everything going on in my life. I know what they're asking, without really asking and I truly appreciate the concern. I thought it would be easier to just put a short update together, rather than continue to answer individual questions. It's been about a month and a half since the kids and I have been on our own and all things considered, I'm doing okay. That's not to say that I'm not struggling though. It's been over a month since Emmett took my wedding ring off my finger and you can still see where it was. I don't wear a ring anymore because A) it stands for something that no longer exists and B) it's upsetting for the kids. 😔 💔 There are…

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