The boys and I had a pretty decent day yesterday. There were ups and downs but all things considered, I'm tossing it into the win column. I meant to update everyone last night but I was exhausted and didn't get around to it. My main focus for today is to get Gavin's labs done and his Clozapine refilled. It's been a nightmare trying to get his Clozapine refilled over the last few months. The lab never faxes the results like they are supposed to and the pharmacy doesn't seek then out until I call about his script. It's not their fault. They're at the mercy of the lab. It's just incredibly frustrating. Aside from his labs that need done, he will also need his IVIG Infusion done today as well.…

My first night without the kids was pretty rough. I'm almost never away from them and having the house completely devoid of even their fighting is unsettling. I miss them doing the things that drive me crazy. Is that weird? I had zero plans for the evening. I had a pizza in the freezer and Netflix on TV. It's weird because I've lost all interest in watching anything that I used to watch before my life turned upside-down. I have a DVR full of shows that I want nothing to do with anymore. Maybe that's normal, considering. Anyway, before my evening could even get started, I got a call that my sister needed help and I spent most of the evening helping her. I didn't get home until after 10PM…

Today is a really going to be difficult for me because the kids have their first visit with their mom since she moved out. Actually, they already left for their first visit. Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad that they can visit her because it's so important to have both parents in their lives. I truly, firmly believe that. At the very same time, I'm sitting in an empty, broken home and needing to stop my brain from trying to figure out what the fuck is happening. It sucks and I really wish things were different. I'm going to use the time to get some things done around the house and try to keep busy. The more I do that, the less time I have to think about my…

Last night, we sat down with the boys and their therapist to tell them what was going on. They already knew that mommy had moved out but they hadn't heard from her what was going on or been able to ask questions. Doing this in the presence of their therapist made sure that they had all the support they needed. All things considered, it went well. The kids are kind of a mixed bag at the moment. It's still very new to them and it's really important that we get visits started ASAP. They're going to spend the night tomorrow and as far as I know, they're all excited about it. That's a good thing. 😊 We had a decent day today and I'm grateful for that. I kept pretty…