I’m a raw nerve today

I've talked about having good days and bad days. I've spoken about healing the open wounds and it's all a process. I thought I was actually doing pretty good until this morning. Today is definitely a bad day for me. It's one of those days where I feel like a raw nerve. Everything is getting to me and I feel like I'm drowning. Elliott came home from school sick. He's not physically ill but is so stressed out that he feels sick just the same. Lizze and I are working together to help him through this. That's absolutely a positive thing but even so, it's not a quick fix. It's a process. I'm so overwhelmed by everything today and not seeing an end in sight. At the same time, I…

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I’m all about the path of least resistance today because I’m f*cking exhausted

The boys are up and moving. Everyone's mostly cooperative and I'm very grateful for that. I've been having bad dreams lately and my sleep is not restful, so I appreciate things being a bit easier this morning. My plan is to work around the house today. I really want to get the hallway leading to the basement gutted and cleaned up. It would make getting to and from the basement so much easier. Everything I can do to streamline our lives is a positive thing at this point. I have a meeting this afternoon and I'm not even almost slightly looking forward to it. It's a necessary evil but one I wish wasn't needed. Assuming I survive the meeting and I will, I'll pickup the kids and head home for…

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Instead of focusing on my failures, let’s focus on what I got right today

We had a busy day today and while the important things got done, there's a million other things that didn't. I'm currently in the headspace where it's easier to focus on all the things I didn't get done, instead of what I managed to accomplish. It's a bit of depression talking and I know that. While it's not easy and there are plenty of times that I have to actually force myself, it's important that I not lose sight of the positive things going on in my life right now. The reality is that I got both kids to school this morning. That's proving to be difficult thus far because they're both struggling a great deal. I got Elliott to his appointment today and was able to explain to the…

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How our trip to @AkronChildrens Hospital went today

We came, we saw, we conquered. Elliott's appointment went as well as expected. Nothing really unexpected came out of today and that's not a bad thing. There are no major medication changes right now because it's best to let the dust settle before we evaluate for any needed changes to his medication or depression management. Elliott does not want to talk about the things that are bothering him. It's going to be a process for him, and we want to help him deal with things in a healthy, positive way. In all the rush this morning, I forgot to give the boys their morning meds and Elliott was in his full ADHD glory. He was a handful and still is but, he did well while we were there. He just…

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Hello @AkronChildrens, we meet again

So far, my plans for the day are firing on all cylinders. There's not been any hiccups aside from road construction in Akron. I mean seriously Akron, are you ever going to finish? Anyway, Gavin's been dropped off and Mr. Elliott and I are in the waiting room at Akron Children's Hospital. Elliott's not wanting to talk about the things that may or may not be bothering him, so I messaged the the nurse prior to our arrival so he was aware of what is going on. I'm hoping that makes things a bit easier Elliott. Mr. Elliott has kindly agreed that I can speak to what I know or feel he's going through and if he needs to correct me, he will do that. It's not perfect, but at…

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Some good news and our plans for the day

Here's some good news for today. Both boys made it to school, without any problems. Elliott was not thrilled but he cooperated 100% and I'm so thankful for that. The plan for the day is pretty simple. I have to pick Elliott up from school a little before noon, drop Gavin off with my Mom and head up to Akron Children's Hospital. Elliott has a followup in the behavioral health clinic. They are helping manage his depression, as well as handling all his medications for it. They're absolutely fantastic and I'm so appreciative for all they do. I promised Elliott that I would take him to lunch afterwards. He gets very anxious about any and all doctor appointments. As a result, he won't eat until after it's over. So, that's…

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This is part of why I was so upset yesterday

I had a less than stellar day yesterday and I found myself overwhelmed and frustrated for much of it. While I'm pouring everything I have into the kids, it's very difficult not to focus on dissolution of my marriage because it plays such a role in much of what we're experiencing at the moment. To the best of my knowledge, while I was ademently against the spilt, it will ultimately be amicable and there will be no ugliness over anything. As much as this hurts, at least it isn't ugly. That doesn't make it easy but it makes things easier on everyone, especially the kids, and that matters. The kids are sorta all over the place on this and it's very confusing for them. One minute they're fine and the…

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Let’s get a couple of f*cking things straight right now

I need to make a couple things very clear. When I said that I would not tolerate any negative comments pertaining to my family's current situation, I meant it. If you leave a negative comment, I will block you from leaving any further comments. I haven't asked for anyone's opinion, judgments, rude comments or marriage advice. I've banned two people today as a result of comments like this. One was so bad that it would devastate my kids if they ever read it. It's dick move and it's very upsetting. More importantly, I wanted to say a truly heartfelt thank you to the 99.999% of you who are respecting my wishes. Thank you so much for your kind words, love and support. Thank you for asking how the kids are…

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