If you’re new to this blog, you should know that I use this a sort of a personal journal. Many times, I’m writing about things that I’m experiencing in real time and you go through that process with me.
This is one of those times.
I woke up this morning and I’m finding myself very easily annoyed. Gavin is definitely pushing my buttons, whether he means to or not. For the record, I don’t think he does. His brothers aren’t too far behind either.
I’ve been on edge and irritated today and I wasn’t sure why until I started writing about this. I remember why and since the kids are already aware, I feel comfortable talking about it.
This week, I meet with Lizze and my attorney. We will be signing the separation agreement, which will become permanent and dissolve our marriage in about six weeks. In Ohio, we have to wait five weeks from the date of filing to get a hearing and in our case, it will be roughly six weeks.
The process for us is very simple. There’s no fighting over or dividing of anything. It’s straightforward, which makes this much easier. It makes it physically and financially easier that is. There’s still an emotional hurdle for me personally.
As far as the kids are concerned, they’re doing as well as one can expect kids to do in this type of situation. Because Lizze and I get along so well, that does give them a huge advantage. COVID hasn’t made things any easier but there will come a day when COVID will be in the rear view mirror and we can move on with our lives.
Anyway, this has me on edge right now. I understand as much about this as I’m ever going to and I’ve accepted that my marriage is over. I’ve chosen not to allow anger or bitterness to live rent free in my person, so I’m mostly at peace with all of this. That doesn’t mean I’m not hurt or sad or even heartbroken. It just means that none of those things control me or influence my decisions.
I don’t lay awake in bed at night wishing things were different anymore. I haven’t cried in over a year and I haven’t stress eaten myself into oblivion either. As hard as this is, I know it’s the right thing to do for both myself and the kids.
I’m so grateful that everything is as peaceful and amicable as it is. Fighting would only serve to hurt the kids and that’s not acceptable to either one of us.