The family is at their Christmas party for the evening. I was really pushing myself to go because I knew we how important it was to Lizze. I'd mapped out directions and dragged myself out of bed. I had layed down because I felt like I was gonna puke but after a few hours, I was feeling better and thought I'd be okay to go. Unfortunately, after about an hour or so of moving around, I wasn't feeling good again. I was stilling willing to push through it and at least make an appearance but Lizze insisted that I stay home and rest. Apparently, I looked about as good as I felt. Anyway, I'm not sure when everyone will be back but I haven't had the house to myself in…

It was a fun night and by fun I mean awful. Neither Elliott or Emmett ever fell asleep last night. Emmett was in a really weird place and I'm not sure what's going on with him. All of a sudden, he's terrifed of the closet in his room but can't explain why. Unfortunately, there doesn't appear to be anything we can do to comfort him. He's asked us to remove the closet door and hang drywall over the opening so it's just a wall when we're done. That's simply not an option. Even if we played along and made the closet disappear behind a wall, he'd still know it was there. He's just in a weird place right now and I'm hoping we can help him work through this. As…

Our plans have had to be adjusted for this weekend because I'm not doing so well. As of now, I will be staying behind while the boys and Lizze head to the family Christmas party. The boys will be heading to Lizze's parents to spend the day and when it's time for the party, they will pick Lizze up on the way. I feel terrible not going but honestly, I feel even more terrible simply existing at the moment. My hope is that I'll feel well enough to spend Christmas Eve with my in-laws and if I'm really lucky, I'll be okay to see my side of the family on Christmas day. If nothing else, perhaps we can have a quiet, at home Christmas this year.