Read more about the article I want to talk to you about my #depression
Confessions / Depression Management / Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

I want to talk to you about my #depression

It has occurred to me that I haven't talked about my depression much lately. I talk about to people who reach out offline quite a bit and I sometimes forget to do that here as well. One of the reasons this occurred to me is because I noticed today that I'm struggling a little more than I have been in regards to managing my depression. I think everyone deals with life differently and depression hits people in different ways as well. We're all different and that's okay. For me personally, I know depression is once again gaining a foothold in my life when I begin worrying about dying. It's not easy for me to admit that because there's only a few people in my life that are aware of this…

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December 9, 2020
Read more about the article This is how I know I let my kids down and it breaks my heart
My thoughts

This is how I know I let my kids down and it breaks my heart

I've been under a tremendous amount of pressure this year. I was getting my footing as a single Dad when COVID hit and our lives were once again turned upside down. I'm honestly doing the best I can but I was recently reminded that I need to do better. This story involves Emmett in particular but I'm sure it applies to Elliott and Gavin to some extent as well. Emmett is the absolute sweetest kid. He's going through a rough time but he's always worried about me. Ever since Lizze moved out, he's constantly asking me if I'm okay. Becoming a single parent is not an easy adjustment and while I do my best to manage the emotions and stress, it doesn't always go so well. I've been stressed out…

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December 5, 2020
Read more about the article I’m trying to have a better day today
My thoughts

I’m trying to have a better day today

I'm feeling a little better after a halfway decent night's sleep. Emmett had a nightmare and burst into my room in the middle of the night. Once he glued himself to my arm, sleep went out the window. So far, my day is off to a good start. The house is relatively quiet and I'm watching the news for a little while. The boys and I went out for a short hike before dark yesterday. I mentioned that in the previous post. I know it was a more difficult one to read but trust me, it sucked equally as bad actually living it. What I wanted to do was pick things up a bit and share some of the pics from yesterday's nature outing. I really try to be positive…

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November 20, 2020
Read more about the article I’ve had a horrible day and I’m so over 2020
My thoughts

I’ve had a horrible day and I’m so over 2020

Today has been straight up, one of the most horrible days I've had in a long time. I'm so overwhelmed and feel like I'm drowning. Sometimes I feel like I'm totally broken and just can't put myself back together. I try so hard to be the best father I can be. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and that should be painfully obvious by now. If it's not, I don't know what to tell you. From a distance, it may look to other people in my situation, that I've got it all together but I promise I don't. There's never really been a time in my life that I haven't been able to rise the occasion. I may not always succeed but I'll be damned if I…

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November 19, 2020
Read more about the article Update: It’s been 234 days of #COVID lockdown so far
COVID19 / Lockdown / My thoughts

Update: It’s been 234 days of #COVID lockdown so far

Life is getting a bit more challenging. For those who don't know, COVID is significantly worsening in Ohio. As of writing, we're a stone's throw away from 3,000 cases a day. There's a nursing home about a mile or so from my house with over 80 confirmed cases. It's really getting scary. My cars still in the shop and will be for a couple of weeks. That's a bit stressful because we truly are trapped at home. It's not like we would be going anywhere, especially since COVID is so bad locally, but looking out the window and seeing the car missing is an emotional blow. Maybe that doesn't make sense.. I've been insanely busy with work related things lately.  I'm trying to get season 3 of the podcast finished…

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October 25, 2020
Read more about the article I feel so defeated tonight
My thoughts

I feel so defeated tonight

Today is one of those days where I feel like I've crumbled under the weight of everything going on in my life. It's been one of those days where I feel utterly defeated and pretty much a failure. The kids have been struggling this weekend and I've not been able to make it better. I'm doing the best I can but it's not enough. I feel like my attention is divided too many times and I'm spread too thin. That shouldn't really be a surprise to anyone. There are projects around the house that need done and aren't getting any closer to completion. My car is currently in limbo because I'm fighting with insurance to cover all the damages and it's taking some time. The kids and I are struggling…

2 Comments
October 12, 2020
Read more about the article A long overdue, deeply personal update
Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

A long overdue, deeply personal update

It's been a little while since I've really talked about how I'm doing on a personal level. There's not really a reason for that I'm just a bit overwhelmed and when this happens, it's not as easy for me to write. That said, it's important that I do anyway because it's incredibly therapeutic for me to do so. For the most part, I think I'm doing pretty well. Could I be doing better? Of course I could. Could I be doing worse? You betcha.. I'm trying to manage a lot right now and it's not easy. The balance between work and family is quite challenging, especially when the kids are learning from home. I need to be working but they need guidance and support because remote learning is a very…

6 Comments
October 9, 2020
Read more about the article Therapy is helping me become better
Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

Therapy is helping me become better

I had therapy yesterday and I feel like I'm making progress. I'm the picture of imperfection and I'm the first to admit that but the last to forgive myself for it. This last year has been incredibly challenging for me and that came after the hardest six months of my life. Losing my last two grandparents was so hard and I hadn't yet found my footing when my marriage imploded for a second time. That began a journey I didn't ask to go one but it was something I had no control over. Ensuring the kids got through all this has been my number one priority and honestly, that came at my own expense. Then COVID hit and our lives were turned upside down once again, just like everyone else.…

6 Comments
September 17, 2020