Confessions of an #Autism Dad: I’m emotionally struggling tonight

I’ve been trying to write all day and I just can string my thoughts together in a way that makes sense outside of my own head. In the spirit of Autism Awareness month and in an attempt to help you better understand what at least this Autism Dad is struggling with, here’s what I’m feeling tonight.

I’m exhausted.

I’m overwhelmed.

I’m beyond stressed out.



I’m totally emotionally drained.

I’m completely physically drained.

I’m finding myself in a dark place tonight.



I’m feeling seriously demoralized and beaten down.

I’m broken hearted for reasons that are too many to explain.

I’m conflicted because I know tomorrow’s a new day but it seems far away.

I’m doing the best I can but I can’t fix the many things in our lives that need fixed.

I’m struggling the most with feeling like I’ve failed my family and that’s eating me alive.

Being an Autism parent is a trial in many things. It may seem like our kids with Autism would be the most difficult of these trials but that’s not always true. Sometimes the most difficult part of being an Autism parent is facing, as well as dealing with our own demons, our own emotions and our own limitations.

I know that when I wake up, it will be a new day and a fresh start but that doesn’t make any of this easier for me to cope with at the moment.

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kimmy gebhardtRob GorskiJimmy RockDutchBecky Rogers Wiren Recent comment authors

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Dutch
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Dutch

It might be helpful (for not only the readers, but for you) if instead of repeatedly writing how overwhelmed you are, that you started writing about what you are doing to get over some of the things that are overwhelming.
Not what you plan to do, but what you ARE doing. I know I find it helpful to see what I have done instead of looking at everything I need to do.

BeckyW
Member

Dutch, it is actually useful for Rob to just state his feelings. Because then people can relate to what Rob is going through. I know I’ve had dark times and knowing I’m not alone can help. Now, if my reading of psychology is correct, men tend to be the ones who instantly want to formulate a PLAN to fix a problem or problems. Whereas women tend to want to vent to relieve their stress and have others listen with empathy. Now, Rob isn’t a woman but as a woman I’ve had dark times and knowing I’m not alone can help.… Read more »

Dutch
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Dutch

I guess I will let the two of you get back to posting to each other then

I offered a suggestion that is literally proven to help. I forgot that was frowned upon here.

Mel’s words
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There are no words to fix how you’re feeling, but I think it’s great you can use this forum to get the thoughts off your chest a bit. I hope you can get a break soon and take care of yourself to feel better. Take care.

BeckyW
Member

Sorry you are hitting the wall Rob. I know if I am nearing the end of the day and start feeling really depressed, I know I can hold on til tomorrow as my feelings may simply be due to exhaustion. Much, much harder to wake up and struggle at the beginning of the day. I imagine that having to detox from the Paxil plus the ever-present lack of sleep you get are making your down feelings much worse.