Heartbreak: A conversation with my schizophrenic child

Gavin suffers from a disorder known as Schizoaffective disorder. This is kind of a blend between bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. We see way more schizophrenic symptoms than we do bipolar anymore. Gavin has been in a state of psychosis for many months now and shows no signs of pulling out of it. The other night, Gavin and I were playing Minecraft together on the Xbox, as we do on most nights before he goes to bed. It's something he really enjoys and I can use the game to help teach him things that are harder to teach in real life. It's just become one of our things.  While we were playing the other night, Gavin decided to share what had happened back at base. When I say back at base, it refers to…

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Encourageing creativity 

Elliott spent some time being creative this afternoon and that's something we strongly encourage.  He took mismatched Lego pieces, parts from a few other things and used them to create his own replica of BT and his Pilot from Titanfall 2.  This is pretty darn creative and I'm really proud to see him do something other than play video games or his tablet.   Awesome job Elliott. 

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I think I can I think I can 

Gavin seems to be feeling a little better as the afternoon begins. He's still off but he's always off to some degree.  Elliott and Emmett have been bouncing off the walls this morning. We have our first snowfall of the season and I think that has them really excited.  Gavin's currently sleeping and that's a good thing for a few reasons.   Life is hard for him and he needs the rest If he's sleeping he can't be walking around and he can't hurt himself when his legs give out When he's sleeping, he can't talk me to death. That last one is a bit on the selfish side but I'd be lying to you if I neglected to mention that him sleeping gives me a reprieve from his incessant…

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It’s been a really rough morning

Today began way to early because Emmett climbed into our bed after a bad dream and essentially banished me.   A bit later, he moved back to his room but then to the hallway where he likes to sit and play his tablet.   The next thing that I know, he was delivering a message from Gavin.   At some point last night, Gavin had experienced something very unpleasant.. I won't go into details but I will say that I don't know if this is just one of those things or if we need to worry about.   Please keep Gavin in your thoughts and prayers. . 

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DON’T MISS: Important Update on Elliott and Emmett

It's time to play a little game called catch up. When we met with Dr. Reynolds last week, we also made some decisions about Elliott and Emmett. Unfortunately, I got tunnel vision with all that was happening to Gavin that I never got around to this.  After speaking with Dr. Reynolds about both Elliott and Emmett, it was decided that we would be removing all of the medications, with the exception of their ADHD meds. There were several reasons for this but the main one is that the medications don't appear to be doing anything.  Over the next 15 days, we will be weaning them off of these meds as per Dr. Reynolds instructions. I don't expect to see any negative changes in behaviors as a result. There is a very…

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Something is happening to Gavin and it’s not good :(

Unfortunately, the news I have to share tonight is not of the positive kind.  Over the last few days, Gavin has been experiencing a rather worrisome new symptom. What we're seeing could be related to his autonomic dysfunction, epilepsy, neuromuscular issues or childhood disintegrative disorder. It could also be completely unrelated to anything we currently know about and is instead something altogether new. Gavin has been losing control of his legs. What do I mean by that? I mean that he will be walking and then his legs just stop listening to his brain. That's actually how Gavin explains it.  It's to the point that he's afraid to use the steps because he's afraid he'll fall.  This is something that I need to speak to his pediatric neurologist on Monday…

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I’m really struggling with patience today

It's been one of those days where Autism and ADHD are totally kicking my ass. I love my kids to the moon and back but they are absolutely driving me crazy.  Gavin's repeating himself over and over again. Elliott is just melting down like there's no tomorrow and it's over every single tiny thing. Emmett's really the only one keeping his head above water today.  When Elliott gets like this, there's absolutely no reasoning with him and he has to be sent to his room to calm down. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. Today has been one of those days where is hasn't been working.  I'm very preoccupied with a new problem that Gavin has been experiencing over the last few days that I haven't shared publicly…

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It’s like being throat punched back into reality

Lizze and I made arrangements to take Gavin to see a movie this afternoon. The boys went to their grandparents for a few hours after school, in order to make this possible.   I was really excited to have the three of us spend some time together outside the house and Gavin loves movies.  As we were pulling into the parking lot of the theater, my heart sank.  Gavin informed us that his friends are going to meet us there. We asked how they were going to pay for tickets.  Gavin explained that he has a contact that works in the theater and that contact makes all the arrangements for his friends. I call them (but never to his face) his invisible group of super best friends because I have to…

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