I’m so fucking overwhelmed

I'm trying to write more but the truth is, I'm barely fucking hanging on right now. Last night, in a massive emotional outbursts, Emmett ripped up his schoolwork. He wasn't trying to be difficult or oppositional. He's so overwhelmed by everything and simply not coping well. We've officially crossed a line with the schoolwork at this point. There isn't a child in this country who's education isn't totally fucked up right now. This is causing my kids far too much distress and me too much anxiety. I'm fucking done. I'm fighting feelings of being a total parenting failure right now but the truth is, I'm failing either way. If I force my kids to continue doing the busy work, I'm letting them down because it's clearly not in their best…

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#Depression is making life very challening

It's been a really busy day. I recorded two interviews and finalized another one for next week. I want to get as far ahead of myself as I can because the Florida trip is going to throw things off schedule. This way I pods releasing for the next few weeks. I just need to edit and schedule them before I leave. I mentioned that I'm seriously depressed and unfortunately, one of the biggest ways depression impacts me is my short term memory. It's weird because I don't really forget anything that happens or what is said. It's more that I lose my train of thought. When I'm interviewing someone, I have questions that pop up and if I don't jot them down, I will likely forget what I was going…

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#Depression is absolutely kicking my ass

I had a nice chat with my Dad this afternoon. I called to see how he was doing because he's been sick. He's sorta feeling better but now my Mom is sick. We only spent a few minutes on the phone but I sorta unloaded a bit and it was something I really needed to do. I get so caught up in everything that is demanded of me, I don't see how much I'm personally struggling. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and massively fucking depressed. The truth is, I'm absolutely lost and I don't know how to find my way home. I'm somewhat going through the motions each day, but I'm dropping the ball in all areas of my life. I just can't keep up. In my opinion, I'm failing my kids…

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#Depression is kicking my ass tonight

I'm going to keep this short and sweet because my head is pounding and I need sleep. Writing has become a bit more challenging for me lately. Depression is exerting a good deal of control over my life right now. I'm working to regain control but it's not easy. I'm very overwhelmed and I'm constantly dropping the ball, or at least it feels like I'm. I will be trying to get back to writing but for the moment, I'm spread incredibly thin. The podcast is taking a great deal of time and energy but it's helping to pay the bills. I've got Christmas to worry about, along with a million other things. I'm so tired and I feel defeated. Tomorrow is a new day and I'm clinging to hope that…

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Here’s why #depression is hitting me so hard right now

Last night I shared a tweet and I wanted to to further explain. First of all, I truly appreciate the love and support. It means a lot. While I didn't sleep well last night because Emmett didn't sleep well, today is a new day and I'm in a better place. I'm just gonna put this out there. #Depression f*cking sucks.. 😔— Rob Gorski (@theautismdad) November 21, 2019 There's a great deal going on in my life that has me completely overwhelmed. These things are fueling my depression and kicking it into overdrive. It's been a rough year and it's weighing heavy on me. In January I lost my grandfather, in June I lost my grandmother and in August my wife left me to raise our kids alone. I've been shattered…

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#Depression sucks: I’m feeling alone right now and not particularly good about myself

I'm feeling completely overwhelmed today. Emmett is sick and Gavin has started cursing every time he gets frustrated. It's becoming an issue because he already has no filter. Everytime he says something inappropriate, Elliott and Emmett jump all over it. They aren't fans of cursing and I don't generally use that language in front of them. I've got to tighten the reigns on what he's watching again. I haven't been able to walk in days and that's really frustrating for me. There are things I can do around the house but I don't get the same emotional benefits from that. The boys and I were invited to a private tour of the new Urban Air Aventure Park in Akron this Friday. It's a media thing and they'd like us to…

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Is this an adverse reaction to his antidepressant?

Emmett's been on Prozac for about a week or so now, and I noticed something today that I'm a bit concerned about. Frankly, I'm not sure why I didn't connect the dots sooner. Anyway, I've been noticing a significant increase in Emmett's energy levels. At first, I thought we might have to revisit his Adderall dose because his dose is very low. Today, however, it occurred to me that this may be related to going on Prozac. One of the ways that Bipolar is first noticed, especially in children is if they are put on an antidepressant. Use of antidepressants can cause someone who's Bipolar to swing into a manic phase. This is how we first became aware of Gavin having Bipolar disorder when he was little. This isn't an…

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