I made it through what I thought was going to be a difficult night. I'm so glad the kids can go visit their mom but at the same time, I hate that any of this is even necessary in the first place. I don't know what to do without them. I'm almost never alone and haven't been for damn near twenty years. All of a sudden I find myself with no one around me and it's uncomfortable. Maybe that sounds weird. Having said that, I feel like I had a pretty good night. I ordered a pizza and watched a couple of movies. I did some work around the house before calling it a night. My brain still can't wrap itself around everything that's happened. I understand as much as…

Well, the kids are visiting their mom tonight. I still can't believe those words are even coming out of my mouth, but they are. I have so many mixed feelings about this but I'm definitely happy that the kids are seeing their mom. That's so important to me and I will go to the ends of the Earth to support that. On the other hand, I'm heartbroken and lonely. Right after they left, I cut the grass for the first time in weeks. I honestly didn't care about the yard for awhile but poor Ruby disappeared into the grass and we couldn't see her anymore. It was time and I forced myself to get it done. It was a battle but I fought the lawn and I won. ☺ With…