I'm having a pretty good day. I was sick for a little while but I'm up and moving now. I don't want anything to do with food but that's okay. We're currently at my in-laws and having a nice visit. The idea is to keep things brief because the kids are already on edge and we need them to sleep tonight.
Lizze and the boys came home well after bedtime and my God were the boys wound up. Elliott and Emmett were bouncing off of everything, while Gavin was like a walking zombie, desperately wanting to go to bed. Elliott was somewhat manageable but Emmett went from hyper to raging. It was painfully obvious that while they had an amazing time, they were also completely overstimulated. Poor Emmett ended up having a massive meltdown a little bit after 10 PM and it was a doozy. I don't think he even understood why he was so upset. Mr. Elliott will usually try to help cheer him up, only to make things infinitely worse. Thankfully, Elliott stayed out of it for the most part and I give him credit for that. Emmett was…
Gavin's been doing okay as far as his Schizophrenia is concerned. We see the obvious symptoms every single day because they've never been completely controlled. Thankfully, Gavin's hallucinations are not as dark as they used to be and they used to be really dark. I never know what to think when he tells me about a dream because it could very easily be a hallucination and he simply wouldn't know the difference. Today he informed me that he'd just saved Christmas from the clutches of evil. He didn't go into any further details, so I'm not sure if it was a dream or a mission. Color me intrigued because it's different than I normally hear from him and I'd actually be interested in hearing the rest.
The family is at their Christmas party for the evening. I was really pushing myself to go because I knew we how important it was to Lizze. I'd mapped out directions and dragged myself out of bed. I had layed down because I felt like I was gonna puke but after a few hours, I was feeling better and thought I'd be okay to go. Unfortunately, after about an hour or so of moving around, I wasn't feeling good again. I was stilling willing to push through it and at least make an appearance but Lizze insisted that I stay home and rest. Apparently, I looked about as good as I felt. Anyway, I'm not sure when everyone will be back but I haven't had the house to myself in…
It was a fun night and by fun I mean awful. Neither Elliott or Emmett ever fell asleep last night. Emmett was in a really weird place and I'm not sure what's going on with him. All of a sudden, he's terrifed of the closet in his room but can't explain why. Unfortunately, there doesn't appear to be anything we can do to comfort him. He's asked us to remove the closet door and hang drywall over the opening so it's just a wall when we're done. That's simply not an option. Even if we played along and made the closet disappear behind a wall, he'd still know it was there. He's just in a weird place right now and I'm hoping we can help him work through this. As…
Our plans have had to be adjusted for this weekend because I'm not doing so well. As of now, I will be staying behind while the boys and Lizze head to the family Christmas party. The boys will be heading to Lizze's parents to spend the day and when it's time for the party, they will pick Lizze up on the way. I feel terrible not going but honestly, I feel even more terrible simply existing at the moment. My hope is that I'll feel well enough to spend Christmas Eve with my in-laws and if I'm really lucky, I'll be okay to see my side of the family on Christmas day. If nothing else, perhaps we can have a quiet, at home Christmas this year.
I've been trying to rest for a few hours and I'm feeling a little better, thank God. This experience is interesting in the sense that these side effects seem to come and go. It's like a roller-coaster of headaches and nausea.. There isn't really a rhyme or reason, as far as I can tell. It's been a rough day and I'm thankful it wasn't any worse than it was. My back is finally healing up and the hole is almost gone. I left the dressing off for a little while today in order to expose it to the air. Lizze suggested that I remove the bandage at bedtime and until the hole is gone, put a fresh bandage on in the morning. I happen to think that's a pretty solid…
I'm officially feeling like shit. Coming off of Paxil is a fucking nightmare. I researched this for weeks before making a decision to do this and most people seemed to get really bad withdrawal symptoms. Some people can quit cold turkey and never have a problem. I'm apparently in the first category and there's no way to know own how you're going to react until you do. It feels like I have the flu. My head hurts, I've got the cold sweats and eating anything takes some serious effort cause the idea of food makes me want to puke. It could absolutely be worse because I could be coming off the Paxil much faster. The slower I come off, the less likely I am to suffer really bad side effects.…