Read more about the article Do you ever feel like life has just kicked your ass?
My thoughts

Do you ever feel like life has just kicked your ass?

It's been a long weekend and it's still not over yet cause there's no school today. There's not been anything catastrophic that's happened in the last few days but I feel like I had my ass kicked up one side of the road and down the other. Truthfully, Lizze and I are both on edge but there isn't one single thing that's responsible for our stress. It's a combination of things and it creates tension between us that we don't even realize is there until we have a disagreement. It's nothing major or even worth mentioning other than to illustrate how stress impacts us both. I know Gavin is wearing on me but so is everyday life. I'm absolutely exhausted, overwhelmed and truly feeling like life is kicking my ass.…

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February 19, 2018
Read more about the article There’s way too much shit to worry about as a special needs parent
Clozapine / Gavin / Medication Management / My thoughts

There’s way too much shit to worry about as a special needs parent

I've been playing a very frustrating game of phone tag with the pharmacy this afternoon. I need to make sure they either look out for a fax from the lab or call and have it faxed over because Gavin needs his refill tomorrow. I cannot stress enough that Clozapine is the most tightly controlled medication in the United States for a reason. You do not fuck with this medication and it has to be taken seriously. The fucking stress that we experience simply because of this goddamn medication is inexplicable. I also reached out to his doctor and asked that they immediately email with the results of his his labs because I'd like to sleep tonight. They do that anyway but I feel better reminding them. They know how serious…

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February 15, 2018
Read more about the article Morning meltdowns are so exhausting
My thoughts

Morning meltdowns are so exhausting

This morning was a bit on the rougher side of shitty. Emmett really struggled with his stomach and was extremely upset because he didn't feel good but he also didn't want to miss school. He struggled with this so much that he ended up melting down. We decided to have him stay home because he truly wasn't feeling well and maybe we could get him to school a bit later in the day. I took Elliott to school but stopped at Walgreens because he decided at the last minute that he wanted to bring Valentines to school. While I was there, Lizze called and said Emmett basically wanted to try going to school. We turned around and claimed Emmett before making our way to the school. It's important to understand…

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February 14, 2018
Read more about the article How I helped my adult son with #Autism work through a really bad day
Gavin / Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

How I helped my adult son with #Autism work through a really bad day

Today felt like a trip back in time to when Gavin was really struggling with behavioral issues. OMG did he have a rough day. He tried his best but couldn't cope well with all that went on yesterday. His Monday was thrown off because of the shift in his bloodwork schedule. That threw him for a loop and the day had only just started. When he started his IVIG infusion, both infusion sites ended up leaking and he needed to be stuck with a needle five or six times before we could get it working. His infusion going poorly sent him into a downward spiral that he would never recover from. Throughout the rest of the day he struggled with just about everything. His frustration threshold was nonexistent and he…

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February 13, 2018
Read more about the article It’s too painful to talk about
Gavin / My thoughts

It’s too painful to talk about

As time goes by, I'm becoming more and more concerned about Gavin. There isn't just one thing in particular that's got my stomach in knots but rather a conglomeration of symptoms that aren't sitting good with me. He's losing his already limited problem solving skills. I just watched him struggle to figure out how to open the door while he had things in his hands. All he had to do was simply move ome item to his other hand or put it down. Instead, he stood there not knowing what to do. He did eventually fumble his way to opening the door but it was very clear that he was struggling. I wasn't being a dick by letting him struggle. It's important to know where he is and what he's…

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February 2, 2018
Read more about the article Behind the Scenes – Downtime with my youngest
Emmett John / My thoughts / Photography

Behind the Scenes – Downtime with my youngest

There are times where the only thing I can do to help Emmett is to simply stop everything and snuggle. Emmett hasn't been feeling well and on the edge of a meltdown for the last couple of days. Many kids with Autism don't like to be touched but Emmett is someone who responds positively to affection. No matter how upset he is, I've always been able to call him over and hug or snuggle him. It usually helps him, at least to some extent. This is from the other day when Emmett was really struggling.

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January 21, 2018
Read more about the article Sadly, he’s hearing voices again
Gavin / My thoughts / Schizophrenia

Sadly, he’s hearing voices again

Gavin had a pretty good day, at least physically. On his first full day of being an adult, he spent a large part of it hearing voices. Gavin's was officially diagnosed with Schizophrenia a few years ago. This is far from the first time Gavin's heard voices. In fact, he sorta lives in a perpetual hallucination. He has friends that only he can see and he goes on dangerous missions with them on a daily basis. These are the typical voices he hears. Unfortunately, what we're seeing now is that he hears us talking to him when we aren't. He's constantly keeps finding us because the says we called for him. I'm not sure what's going on with this but it's not something that's been very common over the years.…

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January 20, 2018