The 3 MAJOR things that have contributed to my depression 

The second involved a teenage girl walking across a busy interstate type rode. She was hit, run over by several cars and dragged down the rode before the car was stopped. 

I won’t say much about that, aside from it was the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen in my life and even though there absolutely was no hope, we worked her all the way to the hospital. We were there when her parents arrived at the hospital. I will never forget the sound her mother made when she saw her daughter. 

I’m wiping tears away as I’m writing this. 

The third was actually the final call that I was on before putting that part of my life behind me. It involved a little girl, about five years old. She was playing in her front yard when a drunk driver went off the road, through the front yard and ran her down, before fleeing the scene. 

I remember almost being able to make out the license plate because her whole torso was a giant bruise in the shape of the front bumper of the truck. 

That was the last call I can remember being on before I just couldn’t do it anymore. 

I know that’s a lot to process but this shit is kinda just flowing out of me right now… 

Anyway, aside from depression, PTSD was brought up once again. 

I’m really tired and emotionally spent. I wanted to share this before going to sleep because it will likely help me to sleep, as well as give you a bit more insight into me. 

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adriannecollee

Hi Rob, I’m glad that you’re getting some individual help, I think it will really make you feel better in terms of how overwhelming your life can be at times. I have a question that I wanted to ask yesterday (on your post about seeking help) but I was in appointments most of the day and never got around to it. I know your family has been going to Dr. Pattie since Gavin was young, but what exactly does she do for all of you? You often mention Family Therapy, but what does that entail? Also, I am very curious how Dr. Pattie saw Lizze every week but never saw any signs of caregiver burnout in her. That a trained therapist/counselor wouldn’t recognize that something was going on is somewhat alarming to me. Please don’t take this as me throwing rocks at your doctor because that’s not my intent, I am genuinely curious. As for your new doctor, hopefully he can help you come to terms with some of the issues that contribute to your depression. Good luck.

(Unrelated, is Gavin feeling better? I replied to the post about him but didn’t know if you saw it.)

paulinabisson5

Super quick because I’m not feeling good today. I saw you comment the other day but my server had been hacked and I have been working on lots of backend stuff and haven’t had a chance to get caught up with comments.

Gavin is feeling better as of right now. I’ll try to circle back around when I’m feeling better and touch on the burnout questions.

Thank you again for suggesting I see someone on my own. While I was resistant, it got me thinking.

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