The struggle is real and so is the toll

I just woke up from a four hour nap. I feel a bit better but I'm far from being back in my feet. This week has taken so much out of me, but it's also been an unusual week and on that hopefully won't be repeated anytime soon.  The fever disorder that Emmett struggles with has interfered with so much of his life already. It seems to literally dictated a large portion of it thus far, and that's not fair to Emmett.  When these happen during the school year, it's far more distressing than having this happen during the summer.  While I'm caring for Emmett while he's in a fever cycle, I'm not physically experiencing it myself. With that being said, I'm so exhausted from playing my part, I feel…

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This is what #Autism Parenting is like for me today and it’s not fun

Tensions seem pretty high right now because people are sick and we're trapped in the house. Lizze and I are both extremely stressed out today and that makes for a fun afternoon.  When my resources are as low as they are at the moment, I'm far less tolerant of everything Gavin does.  Normally, I doing well with the amount of patience I seem to have. I don't know of where it comes from but it always seems to be there. Today however, I'm running on fumes and things are getting to me that normally wouldn't.  Gavin's level of functionality is probably the lowest it's ever been, and as a result, I'm essentially having to micromanage his life at this point and it's absolutely exhausting. I know it's not his fault…

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OMG…. The overstimulation 

The boys arrived home tonight in a pretty decent, but absolutely overstimulated mood. Lizze's mom called to say that she apologized in advance because the boys are going to be a handful, and that they were. 😁  They had gone and done some Easter Egg hunts and one of the places involved dropping thousands of eggs from a helicopter. They had fun but way overstimulated.  Emmett wanted to go to bed right away, but it was only 5PM and we weren't going to set ourselves up for him to wake up super early. He may do that anyway but at least we weren't complicit. 😁  Elliott's having a rough time sleeping but Emmett is out like a light. Gavin must have eaten something he shouldn't have because he's dealing with…

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It’s been a stressful #Autism Parenting day

Very little has gone right today, at least that's how it feels as I'm ending the day. The boys have each had their struggles, but Elliott had a great day at school and did his homework right away when he got home. ☺ Emmett on the other hand, was a handful for most of the day, at least until he went to bed. I lost count of the meltdowns throughout the day and my ears are still ringing from all the screaming. I know he's in a flare, but my goodness was he difficult today. Even though I understand that most of this is beyond his control, it still has the same impact on me as if he were doing it on purpose. He was miserable today and I'm praying…

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I’m in desperate need of sleep

I had a rough night. I fell asleep around 1 AM and was woke up about 3 AM by Emmett. I don't remember all the details but he had a nightmare and just wanted to snuggle.  Normally I wouldn't mind but I've spent the last several nights on the couch because Elliott's been dealing with insomnia, even on Melatonin.  As a result of many nights on the couch, my back has gone out. I don't remember feeling this much pain in many, many years. The point being that Emmett wanting to snuggle, wasn't going to work cause I was in took much pain.  I ended up moving down to the couch again and was eventually able to fall back asleep. Lizze is sending me back to bed and I'm going…

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My kids are driving me completely insane today and here’s why

Holy shit..... My kids are driving me completely bonkers today. I like to think I'm in a good enough place to be able to cope longer with some of this stuff but not today. Gavin will not stop talking. In fact, he literally follows me around the house, talking at me and not to me. I have to actually tell him to stop talking to me, and hate doing that but I swear to God, if he doesn't stop, I'm going to lose my mind. Elliott and Emmett are both handfuls as well. Elliott is generally disagreeable and easily irritated. He's doing this thing where he feels the need to correct what other people are saying and it's driving me nuts. Emmett's meltdown meter is buried in the red, meaning…

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Why getting my youngest with #Autism to school is so exhausting 

Remember last night when I said that I suspected Emmett was going to have a difficult time this morning? That turned out to be the understatement of the year.  Emmett was beside himself all morning long. Lizze and I tried forever to help him through whatever emotional hurdle was in his way but we didn't manage to do that.  We did however, manage to get him to agree to go with me and talk to his teachers.  In order to further redirect his attention away from his anxieties, I picked up donuts while getting gas on our way to school. We ended up being thirty minutes late but we made it. He didn't even need me to walk him in because the redirection was a success..  This is great news…

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What Gavin said that just about made my head explode

My goal with this entry is to help provide insight into one particular kind of challenge faced by parents of kids with significant cognitive impairment.  As someone with a background in emergency medicine, I find it particularly frustrating when I need to gather medically relevant information from Gavin.  This is a very difficult situation because Gavin is significantly cognitively impaired and is unable to provide information about how he's feeling or doing.  Today was a perfect example of this and it was unbelievably frustrating for me.  Shortly after dinner, I told Gavin that we've made it past the 72 hr mark and that he should be okay. It was about 72 hours ago that he'd eaten raw chicken and we were watching him carefully for signs of Salmonella poisoning.  After…

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