Read more about the article My life will forever change next week but I’m going to be okay
Depression / My thoughts

My life will forever change next week but I’m going to be okay

I realized this morning that my marriage will officially be over in a week. I'm sure it will be the main topic in therapy this week. This whole thing is a mixed bag for me because letting go of something that was so important to me is incredibly difficult. There's a roller coaster of emotions surrounding this and as I'm laying here on the couch, listening to my kids kids playing upstairs, I'm getting emotional. I've been talking to my therapist about this a lot and last week, she was pretty blunt with me. She's a little concerned that while I may be doing okay right now, next Tuesday could be a very different story. I'm managing my depression as well as can be expected under all these insane conditions.…

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February 1, 2021
Read more about the article Influenced by #Depression?
Depression / My thoughts

Influenced by #Depression?

I got my nap in, and that may just end up being the limit of today's excitement. Lizze isn't feeling well, so going anywhere or doing anything wasn't really possible. I hate seeing her so miserable and not be able to help. It also sucks not being able to take advantage of the time to ourselves. It would have been so nice to get out of the house together and not because we have a doctors appointment. It is what it is, and dwelling on the uncontrollable is pointless. The kids just got home, and it sounds like something happened. I can hear Emmett from all the way up here and he doesn't sound very happy. Perhaps I'll just head down and see what's going on. I'm struggling a bit…

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June 30, 2019
Read more about the article How we knew our 11-year-old son was #depressed and how we’re helping him
Autism Parenting Struggles / Depression / Emmett John / Link / My thoughts

How we knew our 11-year-old son was #depressed and how we’re helping him

I've spoken about my personal war with depression many times. This time, I thought I would take a few minutes and provide some insight into how we knew that Emmett was struggling with depression, as well as why we decided medication was in his best interest. Everyone is different, and this is not to be viewed as medical advice or replace seeking help from your doctor. Emmett is our recently turned 11-year-old. He's the youngest of our three autistic kids. He's been through a great deal in his short life from Gavin's extreme behavior to the loss of three family members in the last eight months. Everyone in our house is on at least one medication, and some are on multiple. We take medications very, very seriously, especially for our…

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June 30, 2019
Read more about the article People have been asking my advice on withdrawaling from #Paxil and here it is
Depression / My thoughts

People have been asking my advice on withdrawaling from #Paxil and here it is

I'm not feeling good but for the first time in months, I woke up and didn't feel like I needed to vomit. I'm not nearly 100% but I'm getting there. Quite a few people have been reaching out in regards to my journey and seeking advice about starting theirs. Coming off of Paxil or any other medication for that matter, is a medical decision between you and your doctor. I can only share my personal experiences and what I've learned along the way. The reason I continue to talk about this journey withdrawaling from Paxil is because it's impacting every aspect of my life. It's important to share my experience so others who are considering doing the same thing, know what questions to ask their doctor before taking the plunge.…

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April 7, 2018
Read more about the article Positive changes in my body since stopping #Paxil
Depression / My thoughts

Positive changes in my body since stopping #Paxil

We just got back from this afternoon's appointments and it's been a super long day so far but I've made it this long. ☺ It occurred to me that I've talked in detail about the side effects from Paxil withdrawal that I've been dealing with but not the positive changes in my body since discontinuing the antidepressant. I'm not as miserable as I have been and I just feel rundown, which I suppose is normal for someone living a life like mine. I don't think it's necessarily an unhealthy rundown but more the feeling drained, stressed out and overwhelmed kinda rundown. This whole Paxil thing has kicked my ass but it's getting better and as I mentioned on Twitter the other day, my overall vitals are back within normal range.…

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April 6, 2018
Read more about the article We’re getting there
Depression / My thoughts

We’re getting there

I'm feeling much better after laying down for a little while. I pushed through the morning and got some things done. I layed down because I have a decent drive ahead of me and I need to be in a good place to do that. The point is, I'm feeling better and for now, back in my feet. There still some lingering side effects from stopping the Paxil. Most are gone but the nausea or upset stomach is still hanging on for dear life. From what I've read on the subject, these side effects can last a few days or few months. Considering it's been about a month since I took my last dose, I'm guessing it's going to be a longer ride. I've spoken with a good number of…

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April 6, 2018
Read more about the article I’ve been off #Paxil for a month and the nausea is still a problem
Depression / My thoughts

I’ve been off #Paxil for a month and the nausea is still a problem

It's been about a month since I took my final dose of Paxil. To say it's been an easy process would be a boldface lie. Frankly, it's been an absolute nightmare. Slowly lowering my dose over 90 days was rough but it didn't truly suck until the Paxil was completely out of my system. Having taken my last dose about 30 days ago, the medication has been out of my system for about the last 25 or 26 days. It's a very short half life and that's one of the reasons it's so hard to come off of. For the first week or two, I was completely overcome by emotion. It was like Paxil had been functioning like a dam and when it was gone, the emotions it had kept…

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April 4, 2018
Read more about the article The #truth about #Depression and how it’s currently kicking my ass
Depression / Depression Confessions / My thoughts

The #truth about #Depression and how it’s currently kicking my ass

Depression fucking sucks. That pretty much sums it up. I could easily use some extra expletives but my Mom reads this and I'm trying to keep the language in check. lol I've been waring with major Depression since my early teens. Many battles have been fought over the years, some were won and other's not. Overall, I do okay managing my Depression and keeping its symptoms in check. Sometimes however, I don't do so well and this is one of those times. For whatever reason, I'm struggling right now. I have very little patience at this point. I'm completely overwhelmed by everything and everyone. It's me. I know it's totally me but at the same time, I feel like I've currently reached a place where I simply cannot cope any…

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November 25, 2017