Jamming pencils in my ears

I try to provide insight and inspiration to my readers, by sharing my thoughts and experiences. Sometimes though, the best I can do is share what I'm feeling after a long day of being an Autism and Special Needs parent.  We weren't without our struggles yesterday, but it was a good day.  One of the things I struggled with was Gavin's behaviors. There wasn't anything violent or majorly inappropriate, but that doesn't make it any less exhausting.  If you have ever spent any time with Gavin, you will very quickly learn that he loves playing games on his tablet. You would learn this quickly because it's all he will talk about.  I have listened to him talk about his games to the point I want to jam pencils in my…

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Emmett’s facing an uphill battle

The saga of Emmett and his rare fever disorder, continues. He's once again, home from school as a result of a fever, He slept good last night and woke up in a decent mood as well. Unfortunately, he is still running a fever and is unable to attend school again. I'm not sure how long this is going last, but I know I'm exhausted.

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This is too amazing not to share

It's easy to find ourselves overwhelmed by all the terrible things going on in the world. There's so much negativity out there anymore, and twenty-four hour news cycle helps to ensure that we all know it.  Recently, I shared a story about how Gavin accidently broke his sword while training in the early hours of the morning.  Gavin was devastated because this sword played a key roll in his responsiblities to the Universe. Gavin has Schizophrenia and lives in a very different world than the rest of us. He sees and hears things that no one else can see or hear. It's not easy for any of us, least of all Gavin.  A day or two after my entry about what happened was published, I received an email from someone,…

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Why this is a blessing and a curse

I know it may seem silly to some because what happened this morning at Gavin's doctors appointment, didn't really change anything, but I'm struggling anyway.  Would it make the Universe implode if just for once, we could get really good news at one of Gavin's doctors appointments? Would the cosmic balance be thrown out of whack if Gavin was able to catch a break? Would life as we know it cease to be if Gavin were able to recover from even one of his many physical or emotional health problems?  I realize I'm biased but my God, how much should one kid have to endure in a lifetime?  I'm trying to be positive about this, so here's my thought.  Maybe one of the major challenges he faces has an upside…

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Gavin had a major diagnosis change today

Gavin and I met with Dr. Reynolds this morning. Lizze wasn't feeling well and was resting up so she would be better when the kids got home from school. Sometimes we have to divide and conquer.  Today's appointment was basically supposed to be a followup, because we had discontinued the Lithium last month. Dr. Reynolds wanted to make sure everything was okay.  We met for quite awhile, and the discussion turned to something I hadn't planned on.  I asked the question, at what point do we revisit his Schizoaffective diagnosis and look at straight up Schizophrenia?  The reason I asked this question is because we haven't reevaluated him in a long time and his symptoms have changed as he's gotten older. Long story short, Gavin's official diagnosis has changed to…

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Why this #Autism Dad feels guilty today

It's already one of those days where I'm feeling very guilty. It's the kind of guilt one feels when their special needs child is driving them fucking crazy. By sharing this, I know it's almost hypocritical because I'm always telling my readers not to feel guilty.  The truth is, sometimes there's nothing that can stop the overwhelming feelings of guilt.  I'm feeling guilty today because I'm really struggling with Gavin this morning. He's very slowly processing everything around him today, and I'm in a hurry because we have Dr. Reynolds to be at, first thing.   It's almost like he's unable to think. He's not even able to answer some of my simple questions.  We're sitting here in the waiting room at Dr. Reynolds, and Gavin's starts doing the potty…

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The painful truth about my son’s condition

I've been working on this update for a little while but haven't been able to keep my thoughts together. If you take one thing away from this entry, let it be that I'm very worried about Gavin. Lizze and I both are very worried about Gavin.  Let me begin with the fact that Gavin's heartbroken. His beloved Master Sword broke yesterday and it's like his entire world has crumbled around him. [videopress yBQWDnIr] Every single morning, Gavin trains with his visibly challenged, group of super best friends. This is one of the many teams he commands. These teams help to defend the Universe from evil villains like Eggman or Shredder. Just so we're on the same page, these are all Schizophrenic hallucinations and are only real to him. Anyway, every…

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I have good news and bad news tonight

Today has been one of those days were it's truly been a mix bag. We've been blessed with some really positive events today. At the same time, there's some bad news as well. I think that's how life sorta balances everything out.  In fairness though, life has a pretty shitty track record for balancing things out for us, and a lot of other families.  I want to begin with the good news because it's a pretty big deal.  I had been talking about how things being tight this month and how we are adjusting to a significantly reduced grocery budget. This has had me really stressed out and scrambling to figure out our options. Last night, or rather very early this morning, my new advertising deal came through. I hadn't…

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