T-minus 30 Days

We're just beginning to wade into 2021 and there are already some major changes coming our way. Perhaps the most important is the finalization of my divorce. Lizze and I learned that exactly 30 days from today, our divorce will be final. That's a good deal faster than either one of us had planned on. We had projected that we would be looking at the second or third week in February at the earliest. This really doesn't change anything but it just pushes the date forward a bit. Nothing aside from that has changed. I guess I was knocked back a little because I had prepared myself for a later date but I supposed sooner is better than later. The kids are aware of this and while they aren't aware…

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We need to have a talk

So apparently I was on TV again over the last few days. I didn't know anything about it. My brother messaged me last night to say that he was going through the guide on his TV and he heard my voice in the background. He clicked over and BAM there I was. I guess is was a supercut from several of the interviews I'd given ABC News in 2020. I don't know because I haven't seen it. I had been hearing from people over the last few days that they'd seen me on TV as well. These are people I've never met before and they felt compelled to reach out after hearing me speak. Everyone was very nice and I love hearing from my readers/followers/listeners. What was a bit worrisome…

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How I’m choosing to handle parenting during and after my divorce

If you're new to this blog, you should know that I use this a sort of a personal journal. Many times, I'm writing about things that I'm experiencing in real time and you go through that process with me. This is one of those times. I woke up this morning and I'm finding myself very easily annoyed. Gavin is definitely pushing my buttons, whether he means to or not. For the record, I don't think he does. His brothers aren't too far behind either. I've been on edge and irritated today and I wasn't sure why until I started writing about this. I remember why and since the kids are already aware, I feel comfortable talking about it. This week, I meet with Lizze and my attorney. We will be…

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My #autistic son gave himself a haircut today

I know some of you may not get how unbelievably awesome this is but I'm sure you'll be excited for Gavin nonetheless. Gavin has made it very clear that he wants to live with peers or other people his age, likely walking a similar path in life. Lizze and I have been talking about this and I feel this is a hugely positive thing, as does she. The challenge is how to navigate this and whether or not Gavin can handle it. Actually, it's more like how much independence is he capable of without serious safety concerns. Obviously, nothing can or will happen until we're in a post COVID world but that doesn't mean I can't work with Gavin to help him reach his potential while we wait. This morning,…

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I want to talk to you about my #depression

It has occurred to me that I haven't talked about my depression much lately. I talk about to people who reach out offline quite a bit and I sometimes forget to do that here as well. One of the reasons this occurred to me is because I noticed today that I'm struggling a little more than I have been in regards to managing my depression. I think everyone deals with life differently and depression hits people in different ways as well. We're all different and that's okay. For me personally, I know depression is once again gaining a foothold in my life when I begin worrying about dying. It's not easy for me to admit that because there's only a few people in my life that are aware of this…

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Helping my son learn to forgive

I had a very challenging morning with my youngest. He's a ball of rage and pain and fear and anger. He got into it with his brothers this morning and just exploded. This isn't who he is but rather how he reacts to all the feelings he keeps locked inside. Yes, Mightier helps him manage these emotions much better but there are things he needs to learn that it doesn't teach. The overall theme to his struggles is loss. He's struggling to deal with a tremendous amount of loss. He's lost all three of his remaining great grandparents, his mother moved out, an aunt died, and an uncle passed away as well. He's lost multiple family pets to cancer and all of this loss took place over the last year…

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That’s what makes you awesome

I don't know if you're new here or not but in case you are, you should know that I see a therapist every Wednesday. I feel like it's important to share that because there's too much stigma surrounding therapy. My therapist is awesome and she's helping me to deal with everything I've been through.  I feel like I'm doing okay. I've moved on from my marriage ending and I no longer carry that pain around. Therapy has really helped with that. Unfortunately, some things can't be learned in therapy and are only learned through life experience. I've not written like this in a long time but I just feel like I need to dig down and put my thoughts into words. There's a lot of stress associated with being an…

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A long overdue, deeply personal update

It's been a little while since I've really talked about how I'm doing on a personal level. There's not really a reason for that I'm just a bit overwhelmed and when this happens, it's not as easy for me to write. That said, it's important that I do anyway because it's incredibly therapeutic for me to do so. For the most part, I think I'm doing pretty well. Could I be doing better? Of course I could. Could I be doing worse? You betcha.. I'm trying to manage a lot right now and it's not easy. The balance between work and family is quite challenging, especially when the kids are learning from home. I need to be working but they need guidance and support because remote learning is a very…

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