It’s been a little bit since I opened up about some of the challenges we’re dealing with as an autism family. While life is definitely good, there are some new challenges that have come up recently and I want to talk about them.
The day has been long and frustrating. First, I want to share some good news. I really want to refocus on finding the silver lining in each day. Gavin did his own IVIG Infusion today for the first time in a long time. His infusion went off without a hitch and without any leaking. Gavin came down the stairs afterwards and said "Dad, I was really lucky today because my infusion didn't leak." I looked at him, made him walk back upstairs and start over. This time, however, I wanted him to say "Dad, I did a great job with my infusion and it finished without leaking." The reason for me doing this was to reframe how he views what happened. Rather than just think he was lucky, I wanted…
I had a nice chat with my Dad this afternoon. I called to see how he was doing because he's been sick. He's sorta feeling better but now my Mom is sick. We only spent a few minutes on the phone but I sorta unloaded a bit and it was something I really needed to do. I get so caught up in everything that is demanded of me, I don't see how much I'm personally struggling. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and massively fucking depressed. The truth is, I'm absolutely lost and I don't know how to find my way home. I'm somewhat going through the motions each day, but I'm dropping the ball in all areas of my life. I just can't keep up. In my opinion, I'm failing my kids…
In the good news department, everyone slept in their own beds, and did so through the night. That means I actually slept pretty well myself. Progress is progress and this is progress. I have to get to the grocery store today but aside from that, I don't think there's much going on. Elliott will return to school in the morning and I'm hoping to hear about Emmett's home instruction this week. All the documentation is in and it's just another round of hurry up and wait. I'm feeling incredibly stressed out today but I can't say exactly why that is. The house is falling apart and we lost a good chunk of the progress we recently made. I have quite a few things that need my attention. I'm unmotivated and…
I'm feeling pretty good tonight. We had a fairly decent day and I while I'm still awake at 1AM, I've accomplished quite a bit this evening. I spent some time tonight mixing this coming weeks podcast episode and I think it's pretty much done. That's awesome because I don't normally finish things up until the night before I release the episode. I'm almost a full week ahead of myself. I'm really excited to be creating a buffer again. I have two interviews setup for early this coming week and that will will pit me two full weeks ahead of schedule. That significantly reduces my stress level, at least in regards to the podcast. My goal has been to get as many episodes in the tank as I can, so there's…
Last night I let the boys have an all nighter in the living room. They were watching Scooby Doo and playing the Xbox. I figured they could use the fun. The other thing was that Elliott and Emmett were getting along and I wanted them to have that as well. I was up for awhile still and they ended up actually going to bed before I did. They did spent a few hours hanging out together and I feel really good about that. There is absolutely nothing going on today. I've got a podcast recording to start mixing and I need to continue planning for our upcoming trip to Florida. I still have some things I need to work out for the trip down and back. I'm still trying to…
Since venturing into single parenthood, I've been forced to make some significant changes in my life. Unfortunately, I'm only one person, and my kids require every ounce of everything I have. To survive right now, I have to take on only what is absolutely necessary and let go of whatever I can. I've been talking with the boys for a few weeks about rehoming our ferrets. It kills me even to consider this because they've already lost so much over the last year, but we're no longer in a place where we are managing our lives efficiently or effectively. Everyone in the house is struggling, and we need to be able to let go of some things so we can pick up what we must, and move forward. This was…
So I forgot to share this little tidbit of information. School has been cancled for at least today because of so many kids being out sick. It would make sense that if it's that bad, they include Friday as well but whatever. I'm not sure what's going around but if it's that bad, I may have to think about keeping Elliott home in Friday. When you have a child with a compromised immune system in your home, you have to be so careful with things like this. If Elliott brings something into the house, it puts Gavin at risk. If it's bad enough that they're shutting the school down, I have to think about the how to keep Gavin safe. Hopefully, they'll write off the rest of the week and…