I feel so lost right now

I'm not having a good day today. I'm feeling enormously overwhelmed by everything in my life, and I honestly don't know how much more I can take. The things going on in this country are not okay. The things going on in my neighborhood are not okay. It's all so infuriating, overwhelming, and impossible for me to ignore. Everyone in my family (Lizze, Gavin, Elliott, and Emmett) are struggling with so much right now, and there isn't a goddamn thing I do to make their lives better. There's not enough of me to go around, and everyone needs more than I have left. I'm in a darker place than I've been in for a long while and pissed off at the world. There is absolutely no part of me that…

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Sometimes I really struggle with being a full-time #caregiver

Sometimes I struggle with all the responsibilities associated with being an Autism and Special Needs parent. Frankly, I struggle with my wife's chronic health issues, as well. It's not easy being a full-time caregiver to four people while trying to work from home and battling my own demons. It's not easy trying to manage everyone's life and not lose myself in the mix. I've been struggling a great deal lately, and there are a number of reasons for that. I often find myself being crushed by all I'm trying to maintain. I can get frustrated because things are always so hard. While we had a pretty good day today, especially by our standards, there were still some times that I was incredibly frustrated. Sometimes I just need things to work.…

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I’m feeling good about today,

I feel pretty positive about today. Lizze isn't feeling good at all, but we ran a few errands and had a quick impromptu lunch before heading to get the kids. The boys have been at a birthday party for most of the afternoon, and they're having a great time. I'm chilling in the car, waiting for the boys to come out. I met the parents of Elliott's friend, and they are sooooo nice. It turns out; this kid lives about a mile and a half away. That's pretty fricking close, and we need to get them together more often. As I mentioned previously, Emmett and Gavin were both invited too, and they're having a great time as well. I was concerned about Gavin, but it sounds like he's doing well.…

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My morning so far

I feel like I slept pretty well last night. I was able to get up early and go walking. It's a gorgeous morning, and the temps were perfect. About halfway through the first lap, I was approached by the new ducks at the park. I think they look pretty cool. They're very friendly and not afraid of people at all. I'm so glad I got my walk in because I missed yesterday and it's really important to me that I do this. There is nothing on the agenda today that I'm aware of. The only thing I need to figure out is what's going on with the kids and this birthday party, or rather the logistics of it. Outside of that, I want to get caught up on laundry and…

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I wish it weren’t like this

My wife and I don't get that many breaks. That said, we do get more than many others out there, and we're grateful for what we get. The boys left about 2 PM today. After they left, the bulk of my day was spent sleeping. I crashed for almost six hours. I'm so worn out, and the stress of everything is getting to me. As soon as the kids left, I didn't have to be awake anymore. There were a million things I should have been doing, but my body just needed to shut down. It's so hard to get people to understand how stressful being an Autism parent is. I'm tired. I'm overwhelmed, and at this moment in time, I feel like things are never going to get better.…

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My kids are going to a birthday party

Lizze and I have a decent break ahead of us today. All three of the kids are going to their grandparents for the night. Tomorrow, they are going to a birthday party for one of Elliott's classmates. Even Gavin is invited and that's pretty awesome. 😊 This party is Nerf themed and they're going to have a Nerf war, as well as go swimming. The boys have spent a good deal of time planning which Nerf guns to bring to their upcoming battle. This is what they decided on. I'm pretty excited that they get to have this experience and I'm also excited to have some time off. Depending on how Lizze is feeling, maybe we'll go do some normal couple things like dinner and a movie. If she's not…

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Review: The super cool ultra-thin, trackable smart wallet by @EksterWallets

Before I get into this weeks review, I want to say that I had intended this to be published before Father's Day, but unfortunately, life interfered with that timeline. Better late than never I suppose. One of the things that drive my wife absolutely crazy is my wallet. For me, and a lot of other guys, a trusty old wallet is like a favorite beat-up ball cap. You don't just get a new one because it's been around the block a few times. My wife and I have been together for almost 20 years. In all that time, I think I've only had two wallets. As I said, a trusty wallet is something you don't just get rid of because it's old and falling apart. My wife, however, doesn't feel…

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Remember not to forget the positive things in your life

I wanted to focus on the positives tonight. Life swings both ways, and the negative seems to overwhelm us at times, but it's essential to put the focus on the positive things as often as possible. It's not easy, but it helps to maintain perspective. Fair warning, my thoughts are a little scattered tonight, so I'll likely jump around a bit. 😉 While I didn't sleep well last night, I did sleep. My sleep cycle is out of whack, but I'm slowly making progress in the right direction. It took some deliberate action, but I did make it walking this morning. I got a later start, but I went. On a cool side note, I found two new ducks at the part today. I've talked about the Lonely Duck at…

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