It’s been a largely positive morning

Elliott and Emmett got off to a really good start this morning. They even helped with giving Zane his antibiotics. Lizze holds Zane, Elliott bribes Zane with fur-vita and Emmett squirts the meds in the back of his throat so he can't spit it out. The rest of the time, Lizze holds Zane and I give the medication. It's working pretty well and Zane seems to be getting better. ☺ We took the boys to school this morning and stopped by the park to walk. Lizze was able to do about 3/4 of a mile and we headed home. I'm going back out later to do my walk. Lizze is working through a tremendous amount of pain and walking or any physical movement doesn't come easy. I'm so proud of…

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I have good news and bad news

It's Monday and while Monday's are no one's favorite day of the week, it's a fresh new start for me after a rough weekend. ☺ I want to begin the week with some good news. It's actually a good news/bad news kinda thing. Gavin has been struggling with weight gain for most of his life. At 18 years of age, he has been down to 117 lbs within the last few months. It's obviously concerning and no one really has any idea why he's not able to gain weight. His gastroenterologist prescribed Boost Shakes. He drinks one with every meal, meaning 3 times a day. He's been drinking them for the last 3 weeks and when he weighed himself this morning, he was up to 129.2 lbs. That up from…

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It was more than I could cope with and I knew it would be that way going into it

Let me tell you something. Today has been one of the most stressful days I can remember. I spent the last few hours talking/venting to Lizze about everything weighing me down. It was my Dad's surprise 65th birthday. My Mom arranged for a family dinner at PF Changs. This is a pretty nice restaurant and it's about a 35 minute drive from our house. Not a huge deal. Lizze was not well today, so I flew solo with the boys and that proved to be a little much for me personally. Elliott was struggling with impulsivity, a lack of a brain/mouth filter and the long wait to eat. While it drove me bonkers, he wasn't really doing anything wrong. I was just not coping very well. Gavin did pretty well…

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It’s crushing to hear your child say they feel dead inside

We had a pretty rough evening with Elliott. I don't talk about this a great deal but he's seriously struggling and it's absolutely breaking my heart. He has very little control over his emotions and seems to cycle through the full gamut in a very short period of time. I think at the very least, we're looking at serious depression. He's on antidepressants but they don't seem to be helping much. He's in individual therapy as well and he finally gets into Akron Children's behavioral health clinic in a few days. I want so desperately to help him and in order to do that, we need to get help. During tonight's episode, he told us that he feels dead inside. He's also told that he doesn't feel loved or taken…

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I know it can be depressing to read my #Autism parenting story but after you finish reading, I’ll still be living it

Being an Autism Parent is like riding the scariest wooden roller-coaster you can possibly imagine. There are often no brakes and that means you can't get off the ride because it never stops. In many cases, the ride doesn't stop until the day you die. I know it can often be depressing to read about the struggles I face as an Autism and Special Needs Parent. Someone from high school once told me that they don't read my blog because it's too depressing and they don't want the negativity in their lives. It's true and that really hurt to hear that but I get it. While our story is unique in the sense that we are dealing with 3 kids on the Autism Spectrum, as well as some very rare…

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Sometimes we can all use a friend

I'm not quite sure how Zane is doing. I know that sounds weird but at times he seems to be doing better and other times he seems to not be doing as well as I thought. Zane isn't contagious and has been on antibiotics for the last 5 days. We were told to keep him separate from the other ferrets because while he's not doing well, it's best to keep him isolated so he doesn't have to compete for food. It was something like that anyway. Last night it occurred to me after Lizze and I gave him his medicine, that he's been isolated for 5 days and that may be making things worse for him. Ferrets are incredibly social animals and they permanently bond with the other the ferrets…

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Have you ever felt this overwhelmed by life?

It's been a really long day and I'm personally struggling with my depression. The boys, while home sick, felt better as the afternoon progressed and seem to be doing fine at this point in time. They've been moody and easily agitated but that happens on a good day. I really need to dedicate a post to this. Gavin on the other hand has been all over the place today. He's been testing my patience in every possible way, although I don't believe it to be intentional on his part. He's just struggling in many areas of his life and that's sorta par for the course for him. The amount of patience that Gavin requires on a daily basis is draining to say the least. He freaks out over every tiny…

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It’s 8 AM and I’m already not having fun today

Today has sorta already ground to a halt. Elliott and Emmett are both home from school because they aren't feeling well. Elliott is sleeping and Emmett is on overload. We've already had a few smaller meltdowns and it's just not a good way to begin the day. The October Crud is going around the school and it's found its why into our lives. I didn't sleep well last night because of my back and I'm going to hold off walking until later today. Gavin's in a weird place this morning and by that I mean weirder than normal. I don't mean that he's weird but rather his behavior is unusual or atypical for him. We'll see how the day goes. Lizze is feeling better today in some ways but worse…

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