It's a brand new day and while we overslept a little bit, the kids got to school on time. I was able to go walking this morning with Gavin and my Mom. I even took Gavin for his blood work afterwards. ☺ The plan for the day is to pick up the boys from school at noon and then head to Akron Children's Behavioral Health for monthly med checks. That means I have back to back appointments there this afternoon but it sure as hell beats two trips. On the way home, I'm dropping the kids off with Lizze and her Mom for her Wednesday visit. The kids will be home after dinner but I'm glad their getting some time with their mom. It looks like we're finally getting into…

The kids have been a handful, all day long. They're feeling better and should be back to school in the AM. I'm having a hard time falling asleep tonight because the stress of everything is weighing heavy. I feel like the house is falling apart all around me. I'm having a very difficult time focusing on anything right now. That's probably at least partially related to depression. I had to cancel my therapist today because the kids were home sick. She's out of the office next week so it's going to be awhile before I can get back in. I didn't get to walk today either and that impacts my mood and overall demeanor as well. If I were trying to raise my kids alone in a vacuum, it would…

The only person who slept last night was Gavin and even he woke up a few times due to not feeling well. Elliott didn't fall asleep until 6:30 AM and Emmett was up on and off throughout the night, which kept me awake for most of the night as well. Neither of the boys are feeling good and for the first time this school year, it doesn't appear to be emotional in nature. +1 for progress. I'm absolutely exhausted and I can barely keep my eyes open. Unfortunately, all of this has thrown a wrench into the days plans. Walking won't happen, Gavin's appointment won't happen, his blood work won't happen and neither will therapy for me. I'm having such a hard time even writing this because my eyes keep…

I've got an insanely busy week ahead of me, full of responsibility. There's at least one interview this week for a future pod, but there will probably end up being more. That's not a bad thing, it's just a great deal of work. I haven't finalized my schedule yet. Gavin sees his psychiatrist tomorrow for a meds check. Shouldn't be anything major but it will take up most of the morning and that will mostly consist of waiting to be seen. It will also require me to sacrifice walking. I'm not happy about that but it is what it is. I also have to get Gavin in for his blood work as well, and then battle to get his Clozapine refill done on time. I have to hit the post…

The kids haven't quite been gone a day and I'm already struggling a bit. This probably doesn't make any sense but there are times that I really need a break but when I get the break, I find myself wishing the kids were home. I'm so used to not being alone or having any time to myself, that I don't like it when I get it. It's important that I find a way to take advantage of the downtime and get things done that need to be done or simply do nothing at all. I'm pretty much always doing something and sometimes it's okay to do absolutely nothing. If I'm being honest, I do okay on most days since my wife has left. I'm very focused on my kids and…