I think I might need more help than I’m getting

Like anyone else, I have good days and bad days. There are days where I feel like I’m taking life by the horns but there are other days where I feel like I’m being mercilessly gored by those same horns. 

The reality is that I do have quite a bit on my plate. Being stressed out isn’t an inappropriate response to what my life requires from me.

I started making a list of just the major things that I’m losing sleep over and these are in not particular order:

  1. I’m getting divorced and it’s become complicated 
  2. I’m raising 3 kids with very on my own
  3. Gavin’s physical and emotional health is getting worse
  4. The boys are struggling with life in every way imaginable 
  5. Our beloved dog may have cancer and has emergency surgery this week to remove a large tumor from her shoulder 
  6. Money/Bills
  7. We desperately need to move because my kids don’t feel safe and for good reason
  8. I’m overweight and struggling to lose it 
  9. Depression
  10. I’m lonely, which I know sounds really lame

These are just the ones that are weighing on me pretty heavily right now. There’s a million more things to worry about but they sorta get drown out by the above list. 

I know that I’m really lucky because I have my kids 24/7 and I truly feel blessed as a result.

  
At the same time, I have my kids 24/7 and frankly, it’s exhausting in every possible sense of the word, as breaks are few and far between. I do get two 24 hour breaks a month and while it’s not nearly enough, it’s more than some people get. I always try to keep that in mind. 

Anyway, I’m battling and right now I feel like it’s totally kicking my ass. 

I don’t have a psychiatrist to manage medications for depression and I’m thinking that maybe I need to find one. I’ve been on Paxil for awhile through my doctor but I might need more specialized help.

All things considered, I’m holding up really well but on the same token, I’m struggling.That being said, I have too much at stake to give up. My kids rely on me for absolutely everything and I’m not going to let them down.



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  • EllenBeck

    I’m getting divorced and it’s become complicated I’m raising 3 kids with very on my ownGavin’s physical and emotional health is getting worseThe boys are struggling with life in every way imaginable Our beloved dog may have cancer and has emergency surgery this week to remove a large tumor from her shoulder Money/BillsWe desperately need to move because my kids don’t feel safe and for good reasonI’m overweight and struggling to lose it DepressionI’m lonely, which I know sounds really lame
    1: You are actually much better off on your own. isnt pleasant, bit honestly you are better off.2. You are not alone, Be happy, you have 3 kids you  are blessed.3. is smiling more he is happy take pleasure in his joy.4. There are always struggles with children, (special needs or not)5. Maggie may not have cancer, Leave this in Gods hands 6. You have a roof over your head,  many dont. Many also live in bad neighborhoods due to exonomics. 7. Money/Bills  join the club8. You are overweight, but you are workking on it. It took a long time to put it on, it takes a bit to take it off.9. Depression….. you kids see a therapist, if you think seeing a therapist will help, do so. There is no shame in asking for help.10. Of course you are lonely, you had a partner for years. Before you are any good  to anyone else, though you have to be comfortable with yourself.
    Ron you do have a whole lot on your plate, there is no doubt about it, but you’re gonna make it just fine. All parents worry. Your kids are going to remember the things you did with them, not what you gave them. They will grow up knowing you gave all you have for them and you never left them. 
    You have to get a handle on this divorce thing soon. It needs to be over and done and visitations and expectations set in  stone. It isnt fair to you or the boys to have this be a constant in your lives. I dont know how else to put this, but Pappa Bear on it, and get it done for the boys and for you. 
    I will keep you the boys and Maggie in my prayers. There will be sunshine in your days again,

  • EllenBeck

    I’m getting divorced and it’s become complicated I’m raising 3 kids with very on my ownGavin’s physical and emotional health is getting worseThe boys are struggling with life in every way imaginable Our beloved dog may have cancer and has emergency surgery this week to remove a large tumor from her shoulder Money/BillsWe desperately need to move because my kids don’t feel safe and for good reasonI’m overweight and struggling to lose it DepressionI’m lonely, which I know sounds really lame
    1: You are actually much better off on your own. isnt pleasant, bit honestly you are better off.2. You are not alone, Be happy, you have 3 kids you  are blessed.3. is smiling more he is happy take pleasure in his joy.4. There are always struggles with children, (special needs or not)5. Maggie may not have cancer, Leave this in Gods hands 6. You have a roof over your head,  many dont. Many also live in bad neighborhoods due to exonomics. 7. Money/Bills  join the club8. You are overweight, but you are workking on it. It took a long time to put it on, it takes a bit to take it off.8. Depression….. you kids see a therapist, if you think seeing a therapist will help, do so. There is no shame in asking for help.10. Of course you are lonely, you had a partner for years. Before you are any good  to anyone else, though you have to be comfortable with yourself.
    Ron you do have a whole lot on your plate, there is no doubt about it, but you’re gonna make it just fine. All parents worry. Your kids are going to remember the things you did with them, not what you gave them. They will grow up knowing you gave all you have for them and you never left them. 
    You have to get a handle on this divorce thing soon. It needs to be over and done and visitations and expectations set in  stone. It isnt fair to you or the boys to have this be a constant in your lives. I dont know how else to put this, but Pappa Bear on it, and get it done for the boys and for you. 
    I will keep you the boys and Maggie in my prayers. There will be sunshine in your days again,

  • Ellen Beck

    It seems you’re attempting to post malformed content..triedd cmmenting. Oddly enough It will post but it wont let me make paragraphs s sorry for the run on.
    Things will get better .

  • Ellen Beck

    It seems you’re attempting to post malformed content..triedd cmmenting. Oddly enough It will post but it wont let me make paragraphs s sorry for the run on.
    Things will get better .

  • Ellen Beck

    It seems you’re attempting to post malformed content..triedd cmmenting. Oddly enough It will post but it wont let me make paragraphs s sorry for the run on.
    Things will get better .

  • Ellen Beck

    It seems you’re attempting to post malformed content..triedd cmmenting. Oddly enough It will post but it wont let me make paragraphs s sorry for the run on.
    Things will get better .

  • Ellen Beck

    It seems you’re attempting to post malformed content..triedd cmmenting. Oddly enough It will post but it wont let me make paragraphs s sorry for the run on.
    Things will get better .

  • Ellen Beck

    It seems you’re attempting to post malformed content..triedd cmmenting. Oddly enough It will post but it wont let me make paragraphs s sorry for the run on.
    Things will get better .

  • Ellen Beck

    It seems you’re attempting to post malformed content..triedd cmmenting. Oddly enough It will post but it wont let me make paragraphs s sorry for the run on.
    Things will get better .