Going through a divorce has taught me a great many things. Some lessons were more painful than others but every lesson served a purpose.
The reality of divorce is such that a union that was, is no longer and it doesn’t matter why.
Emotions can run high at times, especially when kids are involved. I’m no exception to that. Getting along with my soon to be ex-wife is not always the easiest thing in the world and again, it doesn’t matter why.
The only thing that truly matters is the well-being and happiness of my kids. That’s absolutely it because everything else is just noise.
One of the things that I’m still learning is that there’s no such thing as fair.
Nothing about divorce is fair.
Adults decide what’s fair for them, while the kids are powerless and oftentimes have no voice or say in the matter.
Divorce has a way of transforming kids into property that must be shared.
That being said, I know that there are a great many things about my personal decisions in regards to my divorce that don’t seem to make sense. Some of those decisions are made for reasons that I don’t publically share.
What I’m continuing to learn is that roles have changed and while some may not see that as fair and there are times when I count myself among them, there’s bigger picture.
For all the negative that has come from the fracture of my family, there is no fighting over the kids.
The boys live with me and it will likely always be that way. There’s no ugly court battles and traumatic tug of war. The boys still have both parents in their lives and that’s so important.
While it may be seen as unfair by some who follow our journey, I see it as a blessing and the person partly responsible for that blessing is their Mother.
She will always be in the boys life in the best way she can.
Despite the difficulties associated with being a single parent, how many people would do anything to have a peaceful and positive outcome, such as this?
People ask me why I’m not going out of my mind with anger or resentment and this is why.
Nothings perfect. There will always be hiccups, disagreements and frustration in divorce. Having said that, I always try to see the bigger picture and the truth is that things could be much, much worse.
I will forever be grateful and as such, I choose to see this as an enormously positive outcome from a very tragic situation.
While our roles may have evolved and responsibilities shifted, we both love our kids. We each play our role to the best of our abilities and it doesn’t have to make sense to anyone.
I have my kids and they get to see their Mother and stay connected to that part of their family. At the end of the day, that’s something I can live and be grateful for.
My family is evolving. It’s not the same as it once was and it never will be. Nothing that evolves ever is.
Our roles and responsibilities as parents have changed but the love we have for our kids hasn’t.
In the grand scheme of things, the boys and I are very lucky to have had things work out the way they did. ☺
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