I haven’t been writing as much lately and there are many reasons for that. Most of them don’t really matter because they just don’t.
That being said, the single biggest reason is that I’m simply living with a stress level that’s so high, part of me has to shutdown in order for the parts of me the kids need, to exist.
Today was an exceptionally challenging day for me.
Scratch that. Let’s just call it what it was, a shitty fucking day. It was a shitty fucking day. In fact, it was the shittiest fucking day I’ve had in a long time.
There was so much needless drama coming from people and places it shouldn’t. It made me physically nauseous at times today.
Emmett’s showing signs of a pending fever cycle and I’m already seeing his attitude/behavior changing as a result.
He’s grumpy. His joints are hot to the touch and he’s not eating much.
Elliott is completely freaked out about his EEG on Friday because he hates having the electrodes glued to his head, not that I can blame him.
Akron Children’s Hospital called to confirm the appointments today and reminded me that I have to keep Elliott awake Thursdays night. This is important because exhaustion is important for the test.
I figured that we would make a special occasion out if it and maybe order a pizza and watch movies all night.
These are all things that he would normally love to do.
This time however, he decided that he doesn’t want to stay awake because he needs his sleep and he ended up getting so upset that he became hysterical.
Did I forget to mention that there’s a snafu with his ADHD meds and for some reason he’s showing out of refills. Elliott’s been without his ADHD meds all week.
I can’t win for trying.
I’m trying to make arrangements for Emmett and Gavin so they are not home for this because I don’t see it going well.
This is all weighing heavy on me. I still have a million and one things that I’m trying to pull off, including Christmas.
I’m so burried by everything I have to figure out, I’ve been having nightmares.
Anyway, like I said… Shitty fucking day..
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