This will be Christmas number two, since I was thrust into the world of single parenting.
There are a ton of things that are still very difficult for me in regards to this but I’m in a much better place this Christmas.
I very much resent the fact that my family is split apart and the kids have to be shuffled back and forth.
That being said, I think the impact on them will be minimal because it’s only a 24 hour visit and they’re really excited to open presents and hangout.
It may seem counterintuitive to my resentful statement above but I’m still very happy for the boys because they get to see their Mom and Grandparents.
If you are new to my story, regardless of my wife’s actions, I believe that it’s important for the boys to have as healthy a relationship with her as possible.
I also feel very strongly that simply because the boys Mom no longer see me as family, doesn’t mean that I see things the same way. The boys Grandparents are an important part of their lives and that’s something very important for me to both support and foster.
Last Christmas I was completely heartbroken and desperately praying that things would get better and we would all be a family once again.
It was rough for me and the kids.
This year is different because I’m absolutely certain that things have worked out in a way that is without question, better for myself and the boys.
We’re better off on our own and I see that now.
At the same time, 15 years is a long time to just forget. I’m trying to file those memories away and make room for new ones.
These new memories will belong to myself and the boys. They’re untainted and pain-free, as it should be.
I think this Christmas is going to be so much happier than last year and that’s progress. No one said that moving forward was an easy process but it’s a rewarding one. The boys and I deserve to move forward and be happy.
I’ve thought a great deal about the adage time heals all wounds.
Is it true? I don’t know.
The truth is, the pain is always there but as time goes on, it just doesn’t seem to impact our lives as much as it used to.
I’m not sure if that’s healing or simply adapting to our situation. Either way, life is moving forward and I fully intend to make the best of this holiday season.
I’ve been clearing some room and I’m looking forward to welcoming new memories.
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