Confessions: Do you ever feel like a parenting failure because I do

It's been a long weekend and I think it's taken its toll on me.  I can't seem to pull myself out of the funk I'm in.  I'm struggling a bit tonight because I'm feeling like a failure on many fronts. I realize that perhaps I'm taking a few blows on the depression front and that my plate is overflowing with things to worry about. I'm feeling pretty crappy right now and I wanted to share my thought process because maybe it can help someone else who's going through the same thing. When things get overwhelming, sometimes I can sorta turn on myself.  I focus on all the things I'm doing wrong or not doing good enough and it's very defeating. Tonight, I'm worried about everyday life stuff. I still haven't…

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What’s your experience with #Autism? 

Everyone knows my experience when it comes to Autism because you've been reading about it for eight or nine years now.   Since Autism is a human condition that varies from person to person, I would never assume to know your personal experience with Autism because I've not walked in your shoes.   Having said that, I would really like to learn a bit more about my readers. I'd love to know more about your personal experience with Autism. Are you a parent to someone with Autism? Are you Autistic yourself?  Thanks in advance for sharing anything you're comfortable with..  ☺  

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For the first time in forever…… 

Lizze and I ended our day, without having to move Emmett back to his own bed because he fell asleep in his own.  He came downstairs a couple times but ended up falling asleep in his bed tonight.   This marks the first time in forever, that he's been able to fall asleep in his own bed and I'm pretty stoked about this.   I will say that I'm afraid to check on him, for fear of him waking up... lol This is a pretty big step for him and I'm gonna praise the crap out of him in the morning...  ☺ 

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I fear Gavin’s starting to lose it and that’s not good

I wanted to talk about how Gavin is doing. Lizze and I have been talking about this today and we both agree that Gavin's not doing well. For starters, he's forgetting a great more than is typical for him. Things he would normally do really well, he's unable to complete. His threshold for frustration is very, very low as well. He's debriefed us on a few missions over the last few days and while he's definitely still in a psychotic break or episode, it's his dreams that are beginning to worry me. His dreams are centered around death or dying. The other night, he had a nightmare that my Mom died.  She died because someone had stabbed her in the throat with a pitch fork.  Gavin says that he woke…

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A little validation never hurt anyone

One of the things that I've found really frustrating along my Autism Parenting journey is a lack of validation. It used to be that when we would send our kids to their Grandparents for a little while, they would come home and we would be told how well they behaved.  I think most parents would take that as a compliment. In my case, I hated hearing that.  I know that probably sounds crazy so let me explain. First of all, I have amazing kids but they're unbelievably difficult to manage.  I struggle every single day to maintain my patience, sanity and my family's forward motion.  It's not easy.  It's not easy by a mile. There are times that I feel like such a horrible parent because I just couldn't keep…

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Meltdowns over Minecraft

The boys have really become obsessed with Minecraft lately.  They've always loved playing Minecraft but lately, their very focused on building their world's.  I suspect that it maybe has to do with having some control over things.   I get that it's fun to play an all but I feel like this go a bit beyond that.  I mean, I love playing Minecraft myself.  The problem is that they've discovered mods and texture packs. This is leading to so many problems because the mods end up breaking the game and leading to meltdowns. I've lost count of how many times I've told them not to mess with these things but they compulsively do anyway and never seem to learn.  I just had to go through Emmett's tablet and remove them…

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It’s time for the bad news

Having shared the good news in the previous post, unfortunately, that leaves only the bad news to share.  That centers around the fact that it will be early next week before we see the gas turned back on.  Apparently, the medical certificate is still processing and since they don't work on the weekend, we have to wait until really newest week.  While this definitely sucks for a number of reasons, we certainly aren't relying on it to heat the house.   This will also make cooking a challenge but we still have a toaster over and the air fryer, with which to prepare meals. Having said that, when isn't making meals for my kids a challenge?  All we can do is make the best of a bad situation. Freaking out…

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Here’s the good news

There's many times that what I have to share is a good news/bad news kinda thing.  Today is no different I figured I'd start with the good news first and save the bad news for later because why not.  Gavin and I made a run to the grocery store yesterday afternoon.  We ended up going to Walmart after filling our water jugs.  Money's tight and we're behind on the mortgage and we already know that the gas was shut off two days ago.  Despite these things being important and I hate falling behind, we have to eat.   Gavin and I headed to Walmart with a very limited budget and we were able to do pretty well. I tried to focus on things that were on the short list of…

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