Sometimes I need to purge and this is one of those times

I live in a house with my wife and three kids. I love them all infinitely and without condition. Having said that, I sometimes feel like the inmates are running the asylum, if that makes sense. All three of my kids are Autistic and more likely than not, my wife is as well. They don’t formally diagnose adults around here but I’m pretty sure that the apples haven’t fallen far from the tree. 

When I say that, I don’t mean it to be entirely negative because Lizze is amazing and she’s shared so many of those qualities with our children. In more ways than not, I’m blessed. 

At the same time, they all share many of the same challenges, but require vastly different approaches. 

All four of them have a great many sensory issues. Gavin used to be really impacted by sensory issues but as time has gone by, he’s doing better. Elliott and Emmett are the poster kids for sensory processing disorder, at least in our family. 

Elliott’s sensory issues fall heavily in the food category, while Emmett’s is spit up between things like food, clothes, shoes, loud noise and mud. Emmett absolutely hates mud. 

The point is, everyone has very demanding needs and it’s exhausting, not only for them but me as well. 

For the past few nights, Elliott has been unable to sleep. We’re out of Melatonin and while Lizze has been able to get Emmett to fall asleep, Elliott is a no go. This means I’m on the couch in the living room because Elliott’s on the other couch in the same living room. 

I’m exhausted, frustrated and did I say exhausted? 

I’m not angry or upset, I’m just really overwhelmed by everything going on in my life right now. Depression is also kicking my ass recently. 

The boys have been off from school for the better part of a month. Between being sick and Spring Break, we’ve been spending a shitload of time together. We could all use a break from each other at this point. 

Our routine has been shot to hell and I can’t wait until we can reclaime it next week. The boys go back to school on Tuesday and while I love my kids, I’m counting the days. 

Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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