It’s 2am and I just got off the phone with tech support for my server cause I had a technical issue with this new site. I desperately need the ad revenue, so I can’t afford to have any downtime. I should be sleeping but I’m just not able to at the moment because I’ve got too much on my mind.
Some will take that comment as me being negative but there’s a huge difference between being negative and being realistic. I live in reality and the reality is that my life is extremely challenging. I don’t think that should come across as being negative at all. It’s just honesty.
With all that being said, I wanted to share something.
I always check on the boys before I go to bed. I know they’re right next door but I like to give them a kiss on their head and tell them I love them, even though they are asleep and likely can’t hear me.
It’s just one of those things that are important to me that I do.
It’s these quiet moments in the god awful late night hour, that despite all the difficulties in my life, I’m reminded of just how lucky I really am.
Yes, I’m getting divorced and I’m completely heartbroken, as are my kids. I live in bad neighborhood but can’t afford to move. Heck, I can’t even afford the house we’re in. There are a million and one challenges that I face every day and the people in my life will likely never truly appreciate just how difficult even the simplest things are with special needs kids.
You know what though? I was reminded once again tonight, that at end of every single day, I get the honor of tucking my kids in bed. I get the privilege of spending every single day with them. Whether we’re trying to save the lives of little baby squirrels or catching fireflies to feed their toads, the boys and I are doing these things together.
While many parts of my life are a complete hot mess, I’m blessed to have what I have because in the end, it’s all that matters. Everything else is just static or white noise.
These little epiphany type moments are what give me the will and strength to get up in the morning and take on another challenge filled day.
A friend on mine calls these moments, glimmers.
Tonight I was able to fully appreciate the glimmers in my life. ❤️