Tonight’s visitation has been a disaster once again :(

Is it a full moon or something? 

Emmett refused to go visit his Mom today and I don’t think that’s ever happened. was excited to go visit his Mom and I don’t think that’s ever happened either.

I don’t know what’s going in with Emmett but I do know that he doesn’t want to talk about it. If push, he freaks out and the reason he does give doesn’t seem very plausible. 

Sadly, I didn’t get my Chipotle burrito tonight and that sucks because I worked really hard during the week and that was going to be my reward.

Instead of my one on one date with a huge burrito, Emmett and I had dinner together. It was nice and I never get to spend one on one time with Elliott or Emmett.

Right now Emmett’s sleeping next to me and he’s feeling a little better. 

Their Mom called because Elliott wanted to come home after dinner. She worked with him and he decided to stay but wants to come home before lunch tomorrow. 

We’re going to play it by ear because with any luck, he’ll be feeling differently in the morning.. Their Mother and I are working as a team to figure this out. It’s a work in progress and progress is painfully slow. 

I keep telling myself that respite is overrated anyway. 😩

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  • Alyssa667

    I know and appreciate your infusion of humor into your situation , but no, any respite is not overrated, especially for you! Respites from stress are needed, and you have more stress in your life than literally anyone I know,
    I’m sure thus has been addressed and I apologize if retreading ground here. I came (and stayed) with your blog to learn about Austism and have been educated greatly and can understand what a friend may be dealing with because of your vast repository of knowledge, One thing you stress is reliability of for kids with austism. But the situation is anything but reliable. It seems the visitation is just a complete CF if you know what I mean, with almost zero reliability or basic regularity. How is this being a positive thing for reliability and routines?
    At some point, it seems the damage of making them go see her, or letting her whims and changes screw their already tiny schedule with her, outweighs the need for visitation to maybe even happen at this point, for at least awhile. Perhaps wait until she is better able to function, because your break is already minuscule to an absurd degree and without fail, any time you’re getting ready for that break, the rug is ripped from under your feet and you’re at someone’s beck and call. If it’s not one child refusing to go or wanting to come home early, it’s her dumping them early. As you were in a medical field, I don’t have to tell you how damaging this is to both your psyche and overall physical health. This is highly negative stress here. I know all you do is for your kids, but giving into whims and changes and control issues all day every day is not going to have you around for them, bottom line. And then what? That’s a morbid, scary thought but reading the stress you go through….I and many others readers fear for YOUR health.
    One or two of your children experience and apprehension about even going. It’s was quite obvious reading your ex’s blog (I read the whole thing transfixed from a scientific POV before she left) that she was mentally ill (and I’m sure some of the physical may be real) so you’re dealing with a catch 22 situation. At this point in time, as hopefully she’s receiving treatments for her problems and paying you child support through her disability (which I hope you get legally put into your decree), perhaps it’s best for phone calls, FaceTime or Skype on a routine basis that can be counted on. Perhaps a bi- weekly FaceTime call for bedtimes? Something that bonds but doesn’t stress either party, but doesn’t lead to and changes and stressing.
    When your extravagance is a Chipoltle burrito and you have no gas for hot water , she has an obligation to pay since you’re the custodial parent. I seriously hope you have great representation because you’ve been taken for way too long. Sorry to leave a long comment on a fairly pithy post , but i suppose it’s applicable to a few and I strayed from my initial query which was isn’t the unreliability of the visitation bad for autistic kids who need as much structure as possible? Feel free to answer privately if that’s better but I’m asking in an autumn info vein.