I’m slipping and my depression has been gaining traction

I don’t seem to be doing so well at the moment.  I’m not sure if there’s any one thing to blame or if it’s a combination of everything.

I’m feeling heartbroken for a number of reasons.

Emmett is really struggling with life,  especially in the morning and towards the end of the day.

 



He’s having massive meltdowns in the morning over going to school and towards the end of the day as well.

Yes,  it’s very true that these meltdowns cause me a great deal of stress and anxiety to the point that I just physically shake.  My brain just sorta shuts down and I have to remove myself.

That being said, there isn’t one single shred of me that’s angry with Emmett.

I’m frustrated, overwhelmed and exhausted but never angry.

Maybe that doesn’t sound realistic but it’d the truth.  My heart breaks for Emmett and all he’s going through. While he’s extremely intelligent and is quite verbal,  he’s very much lacking in the expressive language department.

It’s very clear that he’s experiencing something truly profound but what the something remains a mystery because he’s not able to articulate his feelings well.

Truthfully,  this is really hard for me to deal with on a multitude of levels.

That being said, not a moment goes by where I’m not acutely aware of how much he is trying to cope with and my heart just goes out to him.

I spent some time talking with my Mom tonight because I feel myself slipping into a darker headspace. I just needed to vent and feel like I wasn’t as alone as I’ve been feeling recently.

Tomorrow’s a new day and I’ll plan on making the best of whatever life throws my way.

My brain is completely fried and I can’t do any more tonight. .

Here’s to tomorrow being a better day.



  • Guest says:

    Hope tomorrow is a better day. We will keep you and your boys in our prayers U0001f64fU0001f3fc

  • Guest says:

    As crazy as it sounds, yes the kids are exhausting but it’s the rest of life that really weighs me down. Bills, the house, the neighborhood and getting divorced are all at the top of the list..
    I am trying to walk every morning and I do that for about an hour and that really helps.
    I live in a world where each one of my kids is a full time job and it’s tough to find balance. Yesterday was not a good day for me and it was one of those times where I truly realize that since my wife left, I really don’t have anyone in my life to fall back on.
    Today is a different day and it’s been better. Thank you for caring 🙂 .

  • Guest says:

    Hope tomorrow is a better day. We will keep you and your boys in our prayers U0001f64fU0001f3fc

  • Guest says:

    As crazy as it sounds, yes the kids are exhausting but it’s the rest of life that really weighs me down. Bills, the house, the neighborhood and getting divorced are all at the top of the list..
    I am trying to walk every morning and I do that for about an hour and that really helps.
    I live in a world where each one of my kids is a full time job and it’s tough to find balance. Yesterday was not a good day for me and it was one of those times where I truly realize that since my wife left, I really don’t have anyone in my life to fall back on.
    Today is a different day and it’s been better. Thank you for caring 🙂 .

  • Guest says:

    Rob you need a little break and a little more help are there any services that could come in to your house that could give you a little break? Once a week even if it is for an hour. Goof luck and stay strong.

  • Guest says:

    Rob you need a little break and a little more help are there any services that could come in to your house that could give you a little break? Once a week even if it is for an hour. Goof luck and stay strong.

  • Guest says:

    Hang in there.  It is so hard sometimes.   Let it go, forgive yourself, don’t make big decisions, start again with a new day tomorrow.

  • Guest says:

    Hang in there.  It is so hard sometimes.   Let it go, forgive yourself, don’t make big decisions, start again with a new day tomorrow.

  • Guest says:

    Try reading newest Bill Nason article at Autism Discussion Page, it´s good!Makes you get up, shake your body, take a deep breath and …damn those torpedoes, full speed ahead!!!have a good day!!

  • Guest says:

    I wish I had a solution. All I can say is I’ve been there. I’m still there sometimes. You’re not alone.

  • Guest says:

    Try reading newest Bill Nason article at Autism Discussion Page, it´s good!Makes you get up, shake your body, take a deep breath and …damn those torpedoes, full speed ahead!!!have a good day!!

  • Guest says:

    I wish I had a solution. All I can say is I’ve been there. I’m still there sometimes. You’re not alone.