I’m going to try and focus on moving my divorce forward this week

My main back burner goal for this week is to get my dissolution paperwork done so it can be notarized and submitted to the courts. 

The bulk of this is already done but the financial stuff needs to be filled out.

It’s pretty overwhelming and frankly hasn’t been at the top of my to do list.  That’s why I referred to is as a backup burner goal for the week. 

Read This  I'm waiting to find out how the school day went for my kiddos

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Taking care of the boys comes first, everyday life comes second and these stupid papers are a distant third. 

That’s pretty much just the way it is. 

I’d like to have this done, don’t get me wrong but it’s not like I have nothing to do but worry about filling out these papers. 




24 Comments

  1. tannawings

    It’s been time to get this done…. and it really is to your benefit. Even though your wife isnt there, until things are final she is there finacially. Her income is counting aganst anything you are applying for, and until she is ‘off the books’ so to say, this year she will have every right to claim the kids on any forms. It will also be to your benefit to get this done as she will then pay some much needed child support (and yes, people on disabilty DO pay the minimum at leaast in our state)
    Until this is done, you are in limbo.
    Bite the bullet, get it finished, let it go. You arent divorced, you are still married until this is done.

    1. It’s a closure thing for me. Getting it done is important and I know that. Financially, nothing is going to change because she has no income and so there’s never going to be child support. She wanted a clean break and that’s what she’s getting.

      I’m not happy about it but at the end of the day, I have my kids and that’s truly all I care about. Child support would certainly help but when Guardian Locate launches, I’ll be doing much better.

      It’s cleaner and simpler this way because it wouldn’t make sense to pay alimony to her only to have her pay it back for child support… We agreed it was better this way…

      1. Kim Gebhardt

        Why would you have to pay alimony to her? You have no appreciable income and she walked out. You might want to reconsider getting child support from her. I understand that she has no income now, but if she ever gets disability, then she would be able to help support her children.
        Just something to think about.

        1. Kim, that’s a good point. I like to think I’m a good person and I feel like I would be setting her up to fail. Ohio isn’t very forgiving to those who don’t pay their child support and rightfully so.

          Things were supposed to be more financially stable for me by this point but they aren’t quite yet.

          It’s so hard to know what the right thing to do is…

          At the same time, she chose this path and things certainly haven’t been easy for myself or the kids.

          Thanks Kim. .

          I need to think. . . .

          1. Kim Gebhardt

            I understand not wanting to set her up to fail, but if the payments are made directly to you (vs going through OCSE) then the State won’t know unless you tell them. This would still make it easy for you to get payment if she not only finds herself with income, but also if she somehow ends up with a lump sum of money, such as inheritance, settlement from a lawsuit, or even lottery winnings. If she were to end up with a chunk of money, then you could be repaid for all the support payments that she missed.

  2. tannawings

    It’s been time to get this done…. and it really is to your benefit. Even though your wife isnt there, until things are final she is there finacially. Her income is counting aganst anything you are applying for, and until she is ‘off the books’ so to say, this year she will have every right to claim the kids on any forms. It will also be to your benefit to get this done as she will then pay some much needed child support (and yes, people on disabilty DO pay the minimum at leaast in our state)
    Until this is done, you are in limbo.
    Bite the bullet, get it finished, let it go. You arent divorced, you are still married until this is done.

    1. It’s a closure thing for me. Getting it done is important and I know that. Financially, nothing is going to change because she has no income and so there’s never going to be child support. She wanted a clean break and that’s what she’s getting.

      I’m not happy about it but at the end of the day, I have my kids and that’s truly all I care about. Child support would certainly help but when Guardian Locate launches, I’ll be doing much better.

      It’s cleaner and simpler this way because it wouldn’t make sense to pay alimony to her only to have her pay it back for child support… We agreed it was better this way…

      1. Kim Gebhardt

        Why would you have to pay alimony to her? You have no appreciable income and she walked out. You might want to reconsider getting child support from her. I understand that she has no income now, but if she ever gets disability, then she would be able to help support her children.
        Just something to think about.

        1. Kim, that’s a good point. I like to think I’m a good person and I feel like I would be setting her up to fail. Ohio isn’t very forgiving to those who don’t pay their child support and rightfully so.

          Things were supposed to be more financially stable for me by this point but they aren’t quite yet.

          It’s so hard to know what the right thing to do is…

          At the same time, she chose this path and things certainly haven’t been easy for myself or the kids.

          Thanks Kim. .

          I need to think. . . .

          1. Kim Gebhardt

            I understand not wanting to set her up to fail, but if the payments are made directly to you (vs going through OCSE) then the State won’t know unless you tell them. This would still make it easy for you to get payment if she not only finds herself with income, but also if she somehow ends up with a lump sum of money, such as inheritance, settlement from a lawsuit, or even lottery winnings. If she were to end up with a chunk of money, then you could be repaid for all the support payments that she missed.

  3. tannawings

    It’s been time to get this done…. and it really is to your benefit. Even though your wife isnt there, until things are final she is there finacially. Her income is counting aganst anything you are applying for, and until she is ‘off the books’ so to say, this year she will have every right to claim the kids on any forms. It will also be to your benefit to get this done as she will then pay some much needed child support (and yes, people on disabilty DO pay the minimum at leaast in our state)
    Until this is done, you are in limbo.
    Bite the bullet, get it finished, let it go. You arent divorced, you are still married until this is done.

    1. It’s a closure thing for me. Getting it done is important and I know that. Financially, nothing is going to change because she has no income and so there’s never going to be child support. She wanted a clean break and that’s what she’s getting.

      I’m not happy about it but at the end of the day, I have my kids and that’s truly all I care about. Child support would certainly help but when Guardian Locate launches, I’ll be doing much better.

      It’s cleaner and simpler this way because it wouldn’t make sense to pay alimony to her only to have her pay it back for child support… We agreed it was better this way…

      1. Kim Gebhardt

        Why would you have to pay alimony to her? You have no appreciable income and she walked out. You might want to reconsider getting child support from her. I understand that she has no income now, but if she ever gets disability, then she would be able to help support her children.
        Just something to think about.

        1. Kim, that’s a good point. I like to think I’m a good person and I feel like I would be setting her up to fail. Ohio isn’t very forgiving to those who don’t pay their child support and rightfully so.

          Things were supposed to be more financially stable for me by this point but they aren’t quite yet.

          It’s so hard to know what the right thing to do is…

          At the same time, she chose this path and things certainly haven’t been easy for myself or the kids.

          Thanks Kim. .

          I need to think. . . .

  4. tannawings

    Set the child support payments up IN your divorce. I know you have a kind heart, but this has nothing to do wih you and everything to do wit your children. SHE IS responsible for her children. I know you dont like confrontation either, but this is business pure and simple. Do not give her an out. Dont think this can be verbal either- this has to be in writing.
    Will you have to pay alimony? No since your income is negligable. You are surving on a wing and a prayer… on disabiliity payments. There is no way you would be paying squat.
    Does she have an obligation? Yes, she does. She is on disabilty (please dont claim she isnt or isnt trying for it) and they will require a small payment. Should she be paying this? Yes. She left, she couldnt hire a babysitter fo a week for the small amount she would pay. As someone else mentioned, inheritances, lawsuits and even lotto winnings could be used should she fall behind.If she is applying for disabilty if she isnt already on it, she will have a lump payment due.
    YOU were left with 3 children. She walked scott free.
    Would I say this same stuff to a woman as to you? Darn tootin I would. Now is not the time to be passive, this is about your kids, not some misplaced loyalty to someone who walked away. This isnt about old feelings, this isnt about being concerned over an adult who made a decision not to be a parent anymore. Its about the boys. Treat it as such and dont back down.

    1. Truthfully, she’s not on disability but not for lack of trying. I totally agree with you in principle but this is a complicated situation and I can’t share those compilations. I’m trying to do what’s best but I feel like you’ve given me something to think about.

      I won’t say anything negative about my wife because she’s the mother of my kids. That being said, I harbor zero loyalty to her.

      Choosing the path I’m on right now was not done out of compassion. I have my reasons and they have nothing to do with her. While I wouldn’t to set her up to fail, that’s really not my concern. But as I said, you’ve all given me something to think about and I thank you for that. .

  5. tannawings

    Set the child support payments up IN your divorce. I know you have a kind heart, but this has nothing to do wih you and everything to do wit your children. SHE IS responsible for her children. I know you dont like confrontation either, but this is business pure and simple. Do not give her an out. Dont think this can be verbal either- this has to be in writing.
    Will you have to pay alimony? No since your income is negligable. You are surving on a wing and a prayer… on disabiliity payments. There is no way you would be paying squat.
    Does she have an obligation? Yes, she does. She is on disabilty (please dont claim she isnt or isnt trying for it) and they will require a small payment. Should she be paying this? Yes. She left, she couldnt hire a babysitter fo a week for the small amount she would pay. As someone else mentioned, inheritances, lawsuits and even lotto winnings could be used should she fall behind.If she is applying for disabilty if she isnt already on it, she will have a lump payment due.
    YOU were left with 3 children. She walked scott free.
    Would I say this same stuff to a woman as to you? Darn tootin I would. Now is not the time to be passive, this is about your kids, not some misplaced loyalty to someone who walked away. This isnt about old feelings, this isnt about being concerned over an adult who made a decision not to be a parent anymore. Its about the boys. Treat it as such and dont back down.

    1. Truthfully, she’s not on disability but not for lack of trying. I totally agree with you in principle but this is a complicated situation and I can’t share those compilations. I’m trying to do what’s best but I feel like you’ve given me something to think about.

      I won’t say anything negative about my wife because she’s the mother of my kids. That being said, I harbor zero loyalty to her.

      Choosing the path I’m on right now was not done out of compassion. I have my reasons and they have nothing to do with her. While I wouldn’t to set her up to fail, that’s really not my concern. But as I said, you’ve all given me something to think about and I thank you for that. .

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