I’m really struggling with sleep and here’s what it looks like

I actually went to bed pretty early last night and the boys actually slept in until almost 9am.

Below is my sleep data from last night and it’s pretty indicative of what my sleep is usually like.  The only difference is that I was sleeping for 9 hours and that never happens. 

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My sleep duration was almost 10 hours but I only got 6 hours of sleep, 52 minutes of which was actually restful.

I woke up 13 times during the night and woke up feel like I never went to sleep at all. 

It’s nothing to do with sleep apnea because I’m pretty sure the problem is nightmares and not always being able to get comfortable. 

I keep having these really disturbing dreams.  Some have to do with the loss of my marriage and others have to do with losing other people in my life. 

You can see my heart rate spike during these nightmares and they do correlate because I’ll wake up and check the time to see if it’s worth it to go back to bed. 

I need to invest in a new mattress and that will likely provide a fix to the comfort aspect of this problem.

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Unfortunately, the nightmares are probably the result of my grieving the loss of my marriage.  On the outside, I know I struggle at times still but most of the time I’m fine. 

Apparently, there’s more struggle than I’m cognitively aware of. 

It’s really interesting to see how my sleep actually looks on paper.  I’m actually using and reviewing the Microsoft Band 2 now as I ran into an issue with the Basis Peak. 

This site is managed almost exclusively from my Samsung Galaxy Note 5. Please forgive any typos as auto-correct HATES me. 😉

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  • Kim Gebhardt

    Have you ever sought therapy over leaving (and the subsequent nightmares)? Not with Dr. Pattie, but with someone who is completely independent. I feel like Dr. Pattie has been in your lives for so long that she may not be able to be completely neutral about the situation.

    • I have but haven’t pulled the trigger. The reason being is that this whole thing is so crazy that no one would believe me.

      Dr. Pattie knows everything and that makes her better equipped to help me cope.

      The problem is that I spend so much time worrying about how the kids are doing and hiding my innermost feelings, that’s I’ve really denied myself the chance to go through the grieving process the way I probably should have.

      I am doing much better and could actually move on, were I to meet someone but there are just times that it’s harder than others.