I’m struggling a bit tonight and I think I need to put up some more defined boundaries.
Here’s what happened to sorta throw me off kilter this evening.
The boys arrived home tonight shortly after dinner. Their Mom was with them and walked them to the door. Rather than saying goodbye and leaving, she walked into house because Emmett wanted to show her something.
From a purely self-preservation standpoint, I hate when she comes into the house. It’s something that I guess I’m just not ready for.
When she’s walking around the house, I can’t help but remember what things were like before and the truth is, it makes me sad. It brings up feelings that I’ve spent the last 17 months trying to kill off.
She’s doing what the kids are asking and I don’t really fault her for that but at the same time, I need to be able to have boundaries in place because…well just because.
The boys need to understand that this isn’t Mommy’s house anymore.
I don’t know if this is just selfish of me and I just need to suck it up or if I have a right to expect that my house be off limits, at least until I’m in a better place? What about the kids rights though? Do they have a right to have their Mother come in the house when they get dropped off?
Stepping in the door is one thing but entering into the house and walking around is something a bit different.
To be very clear, I’m not angry. I’m not angry at all. I’m certainly not saying that anything was done with malice because I don’t think it was. It’s just a limitation that I have right now and I’m working on not allowing things like this to sorta unravel any progress I’ve made but I’m just not quite there yet..
I think that perhaps I need to draw a line and make sure that I enforce that boundary for now.
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