Sensory processing disorder is very real and our kids are not just being difficult

Sensory processing issues have a far reach when it comes to impacting the lives of our kids on the Autism Spectrum. 

Frankly, sensory issues impact the entire family and can slowly erode away the patience and sanity of even the most patient and sane parents.

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I wrote earlier that Emmett wasn’t fighting to stay home today from school and that’s true.



Unfortunately, shortly after writing that and adding it to the win column, all Hell broke loose. 

What ensued was a 45 minute attempt to help him tolerate his shoes and socks.  It was exhausting and frustrating for us both and I wish there was a way to better address these sensory issues. 

Anyone that says, just force him to wear the shoes and socks because he’s just being difficult, has absolutely no idea what sensory issues are and how impactful they can be on one’s life. 



It’s truly awful..

While at Occupational Therapy with Emmett yesterday, I met a really nice Mom who overheard my conversation about this topic with the OT. 

She struck up a conversation about how she totally gets it because her little one is the same way.

We traded war stories for awhile before having to get back to our respective little ones but it was really nice to speak to someone who actually gets it. 

These kids are not just being difficult.  They are not trying to ruin our day or get away with something. 

Sensory processing disorder is very real and physically alters the way a child perceives input from his or her senses..

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We reached a unique and amazing milestone 

These processing issues impact a child’s ability to eat, wear clothes, exist in certain environments and even function on many levels.

Anyway, it ended up being a really challenging morning for both Emmett and myself. 

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You hear that, Michael Savage!

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It would be easier if they were just being difficult

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I believe that sensory issues are 100% real, but why is Emmett able to ‘snack all day’ at Lizze’s but refuses to eat for you?  I may be off the mark, but it really does seem like Emmett takes advantage of you and knows how to get what he wants from you, and it seems like you allow a lot of it because you’re trying to make up for Lizze walking out.  Parental guilt is just as real as sensory issues. I’m sure you will tell me that I am wrong, but please keep in mind that my opinion comes… Read more »

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KimGebhardt you tend to pick things out and focus on things you can use to question me or try and trip me up somehow. Emmett doesn’t take advantage of me. None of my kids take advantage of me. Lizze walking out is all on her. I have made every attempt to help her understand the damage she did but at the end of the day, shes responsible for her actions and I have stopped covering for her.  Kim, I’m never really sure how to take you because you come across in pretty gruff and accusatory way. There are also time… Read more »

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KimGebhardt The older I get, the less sure I am that I know better than anyone else what they should do.  You still have some of that shiny self-righteousness in you, so I’m guessing you are in your 30s, maybe early 40s?  You seem smart, really, but maybe not everybody can run their world the way you run yours at the moment…

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I believe that Kim is trying to be helpful and that sometimes it might be more of a “tough love” approach. I think maybe one of the reasons she brings up the manipulating is because if you review your posts from a while back (when Lizzie lived in the house), Gavin was accused of many manipulative behaviors and I think the word, “sociopath” was thrown around concerning him (in fact I believe you had a post where you stated one of his doctors reported they would give him this diagnosis when he turned 18 or something similar). It appears (after… Read more »

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dotdash KimGebhardt Shiny self-righteousness?  Hardly.  Asking someone a legitimate question is not self-righteous.  You, on the other hand, blindly follow along with everything Rob says without question, to the point of helping him pay the mortgage. I have no idea on the best way for Rob to run his life, nor would I ever try to tell him how.  What I do is question what I find questionable, much like others do.  The main difference (and that which you seem to be upset over), is that I do not coddle or tell him that he’s the most awesome dad ever.

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Rob Gorski KimGebhardt I have no interest in tripping you up.  I believe what you post but that doesn’t mean I don’t question it.  What I meant by ‘parent guilt’  was that you may be trying to make up for Lizze’s failings, which would be a perfectly normal thing to do.  While I absolutely believe that your life is more difficult than average, I also believe that some of your issues are self-created.  Believe it or not, I wish the best for your children and hope that they lead happy lives.

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sometimes is easier to cope autism than spd ,

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KimGebhardt dotdash Look, I’m not trying to be antagonistic.  I do believe in pulling ones punches when judging others, however, because we can never know what another person’s life is like.   (I you think you are just asking a legitimate question, please re-read your posts.  Saying “it seems like X is taking advantage of you” is not asking a legitimate question, but rather passing judgment.)  Again, not trying to be antagonistic because you seem as if you care.  Just a heads-up. Re the mortgage?  We are all responsible for helping each other in this world.  Sometimes it’s advice that is… Read more »

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@dotdash… You are an extraordinarily wise and kind person. Just something I’ve noticed over time… Thank god for people like you.

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I guess that’s why Emmett (right?) gets up so early in the morning cuz it takes that long to get dressed! 🙂 My son after hours of fighting would eventually get in the car, but than by the time we got to school his shoes &#038 socks &#038 sometimes other clothing would be off!! I wish kids could go barefoot to school! 😉

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You hear that, Michael Savage!

Guest
Guest
Guest

It would be easier if they were just being difficult

Guest
Guest
Guest

I believe that sensory issues are 100% real, but why is Emmett able to ‘snack all day’ at Lizze’s but refuses to eat for you?  I may be off the mark, but it really does seem like Emmett takes advantage of you and knows how to get what he wants from you, and it seems like you allow a lot of it because you’re trying to make up for Lizze walking out.  Parental guilt is just as real as sensory issues. I’m sure you will tell me that I am wrong, but please keep in mind that my opinion comes… Read more »

Guest
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KimGebhardt you tend to pick things out and focus on things you can use to question me or try and trip me up somehow. Emmett doesn’t take advantage of me. None of my kids take advantage of me. Lizze walking out is all on her. I have made every attempt to help her understand the damage she did but at the end of the day, shes responsible for her actions and I have stopped covering for her.  Kim, I’m never really sure how to take you because you come across in pretty gruff and accusatory way. There are also time… Read more »

Guest
Guest
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KimGebhardt The older I get, the less sure I am that I know better than anyone else what they should do.  You still have some of that shiny self-righteousness in you, so I’m guessing you are in your 30s, maybe early 40s?  You seem smart, really, but maybe not everybody can run their world the way you run yours at the moment…

Guest
Guest
Guest

I believe that Kim is trying to be helpful and that sometimes it might be more of a “tough love” approach. I think maybe one of the reasons she brings up the manipulating is because if you review your posts from a while back (when Lizzie lived in the house), Gavin was accused of many manipulative behaviors and I think the word, “sociopath” was thrown around concerning him (in fact I believe you had a post where you stated one of his doctors reported they would give him this diagnosis when he turned 18 or something similar). It appears (after… Read more »

Guest
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dotdash KimGebhardt Shiny self-righteousness?  Hardly.  Asking someone a legitimate question is not self-righteous.  You, on the other hand, blindly follow along with everything Rob says without question, to the point of helping him pay the mortgage. I have no idea on the best way for Rob to run his life, nor would I ever try to tell him how.  What I do is question what I find questionable, much like others do.  The main difference (and that which you seem to be upset over), is that I do not coddle or tell him that he’s the most awesome dad ever.

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Rob Gorski KimGebhardt I have no interest in tripping you up.  I believe what you post but that doesn’t mean I don’t question it.  What I meant by ‘parent guilt’  was that you may be trying to make up for Lizze’s failings, which would be a perfectly normal thing to do.  While I absolutely believe that your life is more difficult than average, I also believe that some of your issues are self-created.  Believe it or not, I wish the best for your children and hope that they lead happy lives.

Guest
Guest
Guest

sometimes is easier to cope autism than spd ,

Guest
Guest
Guest

KimGebhardt dotdash Look, I’m not trying to be antagonistic.  I do believe in pulling ones punches when judging others, however, because we can never know what another person’s life is like.   (I you think you are just asking a legitimate question, please re-read your posts.  Saying “it seems like X is taking advantage of you” is not asking a legitimate question, but rather passing judgment.)  Again, not trying to be antagonistic because you seem as if you care.  Just a heads-up. Re the mortgage?  We are all responsible for helping each other in this world.  Sometimes it’s advice that is… Read more »

Guest
Guest
Guest

@dotdash… You are an extraordinarily wise and kind person. Just something I’ve noticed over time… Thank god for people like you.

Guest
Guest
Guest

I guess that’s why Emmett (right?) gets up so early in the morning cuz it takes that long to get dressed! 🙂 My son after hours of fighting would eventually get in the car, but than by the time we got to school his shoes & socks & sometimes other clothing would be off!! I wish kids could go barefoot to school! 😉

Guest
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Some of the most interesting dialogue on this blog comes out of Kim’s comments. Maybe sometimes they might be stated a little harshly but if I were you, Rob, I’d look past that and really think about some of what she’s trying to get across. So much of your blog seems to be dedicated to convincing yourself of a position or defending that position even though no one is questioning it. Your child has sensory issues? OK. That’s challenging. No one here is saying that those issues aren’t real. My kid has similar problems with socks and shoes and it… Read more »

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@Jimmy Rock KimGebhardt  I’ve been doing this a very long time. I have developed thicker skin as a result of how many different people read this blog. Someone always has something to say. Typically I don’t care but the point I was trying to make in my comment to Kim was that she has a long standing habit of taking what is meant to be more of an awareness post and injecting her outside opinion. Again, I respect everyone’s right to an opinion but sometimes it does get frustrating that people miss the whole point and instead try to sorta pick… Read more »

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IsWhatitIs I’ve not met you before and so, it’s nice to meet you. My reaction was more about how things are said and less about the content itself. As I said above, I’ve known Kim for a few years I believe and we don’t always agree but there are also many times where we are on the same page and pretty awesome conversations are had. There have just been comments lately that have rubbed me the wrong way, regardless of their intent. As for the Gavin related points you brought up, it’s not that simple. In some ways you are… Read more »

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KimGebhardt Rob Gorski Thanks Kim. Truthfully, I don’t try to make up for Lizze’s actions because there’s no possible way I can do that. I am more aware of the fact that some behaviors are symptoms of a larger problem. Emmett is almost never difficult for the sake of being difficult. Elliott on the other hand can sometimes do just that and I can tell the difference and that’s why I don’t cave. At the same time, even though Elliotts being difficult, it’s usually related to him trying to regain some control over his life and it’s not exactly graceful but… Read more »

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Lola Forsyth I couldn’t have said it better myself. 🙂

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Some of the most interesting dialogue on this blog comes out of Kim’s comments. Maybe sometimes they might be stated a little harshly but if I were you, Rob, I’d look past that and really think about some of what she’s trying to get across. So much of your blog seems to be dedicated to convincing yourself of a position or defending that position even though no one is questioning it. Your child has sensory issues? OK. That’s challenging. No one here is saying that those issues aren’t real. My kid has similar problems with socks and shoes and it… Read more »

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Sorry if my post was perceived as some sort of attack. Not the intent at all. And I’m not positioning my myself as the expert on sensory issues- I was commiserating with you more than anything else. And my previous post suggested that I have an understanding that there’s sometimes a lot more than just sensory issues going on, which makes it all the more challenging. It just seems like you write a lot of what you refer to as an “awareness post” but sometimes they seem to be a defense to an action you take or don’t take, or… Read more »

Guest
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@Jimmy Rock KimGebhardt  I’ve been doing this a very long time. I have developed thicker skin as a result of how many different people read this blog. Someone always has something to say. Typically I don’t care but the point I was trying to make in my comment to Kim was that she has a long standing habit of taking what is meant to be more of an awareness post and injecting her outside opinion. Again, I respect everyone’s right to an opinion but sometimes it does get frustrating that people miss the whole point and instead try to sorta pick… Read more »

Guest
Guest
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IsWhatitIs I’ve not met you before and so, it’s nice to meet you. My reaction was more about how things are said and less about the content itself. As I said above, I’ve known Kim for a few years I believe and we don’t always agree but there are also many times where we are on the same page and pretty awesome conversations are had. There have just been comments lately that have rubbed me the wrong way, regardless of their intent. As for the Gavin related points you brought up, it’s not that simple. In some ways you are… Read more »

Guest
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KimGebhardt Rob Gorski Thanks Kim. Truthfully, I don’t try to make up for Lizze’s actions because there’s no possible way I can do that. I am more aware of the fact that some behaviors are symptoms of a larger problem. Emmett is almost never difficult for the sake of being difficult. Elliott on the other hand can sometimes do just that and I can tell the difference and that’s why I don’t cave. At the same time, even though Elliotts being difficult, it’s usually related to him trying to regain some control over his life and it’s not exactly graceful but… Read more »

Guest
Guest
Guest

Lola Forsyth I couldn’t have said it better myself. 🙂

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Sorry if my post was perceived as some sort of attack. Not the intent at all. And I’m not positioning my myself as the expert on sensory issues- I was commiserating with you more than anything else. And my previous post suggested that I have an understanding that there’s sometimes a lot more than just sensory issues going on, which makes it all the more challenging. It just seems like you write a lot of what you refer to as an “awareness post” but sometimes they seem to be a defense to an action you take or don’t take, or… Read more »

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@KimGebhart, @Rob Gorski, @Dot dash @JimmyRock and others in this thread:, Just (a late).02 as just now reading this. Writing online is always subject to emotional interpretation because first and foremost…..we aren’t looking at each other. I find myself agreeing many, many times with Kim,….she just has a very incisive, analytical, logical mind and calls it as she sees it. But I see nor interpret anything but good intentions from her. In fact , pointing out maybe unnoticed facets of a situation/post can be much more valuable than blind adherence. I thought Jimmy’s comments very astute as well. As a… Read more »

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@KimGebhart, @Rob Gorski, @Dot dash @JimmyRock and others in this thread:, Just (a late).02 as just now reading this. Writing online is always subject to emotional interpretation because first and foremost…..we aren’t looking at each other. I find myself agreeing many, many times with Kim,….she just has a very incisive, analytical, logical mind and calls it as she sees it. But I see nor interpret anything but good intentions from her. In fact , pointing out maybe unnoticed facets of a situation/post can be much more valuable than blind adherence. I thought Jimmy’s comments very astute as well. As a… Read more »