Why do Special Needs parents feel so guilty?

Parenting isn’t easy. Anyone can make a baby but not everyone can be a parent to that child. This holds, even more, truth when it comes to special needs parenting.

I don’t know anyone who’s lifelong dream is to become a special needs parent. No one wants their child to be born with special needs and many people simply can’t handle it but there are others who can rise to the occasion.

This post is directed at those who have risen to the occasion and devoted their life to their miracle with special needs.

I’ve been special needs parenting for about 14 years now and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m no expert.

I have tons of experiences in things that most people couldn’t even imagine but that doesn’t qualify me as an expert in my book. I don’t know if there is such a thing as a special needs parenting expert because every special needs child is so profoundly different that most of us are flying by the seat of our pants, figuring things out as we go.

One of the things I’ve learned over the last decade is that no matter what our situation may be, none of us are superhuman.

What do I mean by that?

Well, I mean that the cold hard reality is that we all have limitations. That’s the very nature of being human.image

We all experience a plethora of emotions when it comes to dealing with life and raising our special needs kids is no exception that rule. Somewhere along the line,  it became frowned upon to feel any type of negative emotions in relation to our amazing but challenging children. Why is that?

I think that this stems from a sense of guilt or a misunderstanding of what it means to feel things like anger, frustration, depression, wanting to give up or even resentment. 

We all know that kids with things like Autism have little if any control over at least some of their problematic behaviors. In other words, it’s not their fault. They didn’t choose this life and I believe that things like meltdowns are just as hard, if not more difficult for the child having the meltdown, then it is for those of us having to deal with the child having the meltdown.

From personal experience, I can assure you that I have learned what is within my kid’s control and what is not.

I’ll tell you something else as well. Does knowing that these behaviors are outside of their control, make dealing with them any easier? Does knowing that the meltdown isn’t their fault somehow lessen the impact said meltdown has in your life? Not a chance Hell!!!

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