Does the world have realistic expectations of #SpecialNeeds Parents?


This is going to possibly rub some people the wrong way but I think it’s important to discuss, nonetheless. 

Do you think that the world has realistic expectations of Special Needs Parents?

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This is a pretty simple question but the answer is likely very complex and and anything but simple. 

I happen to personally feel that the world is largely out of touch with what special needs families contend with on a daily basis. 

I also happen to think that the world tends to not cut special needs families a break either.

I don’t feel like everyone is looking for a free ride, although perhaps some do.  Speaking for myself, I would just really appreciate a level playing field.  I’m not really sure how to do that but perhaps taking my situation into account when making up the rules, would be a fair place to start. 

So what do you think?

Does the world have realistic expectations of Special Needs Parents? Why or why not?

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15 Comments on "Does the world have realistic expectations of #SpecialNeeds Parents?"

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Kim Gebhardt
Member
I don’t know what you mean by a level playing field or what expectations you want the rest of the world to have. You understandably look at the world through they eyes of a special needs parent, but it really does seem sometimes like you think that the rest of the world has it super easy with no problems whatsoever because we don’t have special needs kids. And while that might be true for some, it’s not true for others. I may not have raised special needs kids this year, but do you know what I HAVE done? surgery to… Read more »
Rob Gorski
Member

Kim,

I’m really sorry to hear about all of that. Especially, the loss of your Mother.

mo
Member

What exactly would ‘level the playing field’ for you? You already don’t work or pay medical expenses. I’m not sure what you think life or society owes you here.

Rob Gorski
Member
That’s pretty harsh… I was simply asking the question of others. For the record, I was a paramedic/fire fighter for many years. I ran thousands of calls and saved countless lives. I was first in line to travel to New York for search and rescue efforts or to help man stations after 9/11.. but we were never called. I ended my career after a devastating back injury that left me in constant pain for almost a decade. I suffered that injury while helping to carry a pregnant woman, who was bleeding out, down a flight of very steep steps. I… Read more »
Braden
Member

Honest question…do you think that the diagnosis should come with some sort of additional benefit? (Financial or otherwise)?

As Kim mentioned above, everyone has it tough…I can’t see a scenario that would work with us playing favorites with a group that is subjectively considered ‘more deserving’ of assistance and consideration.

Rob Gorski
Member
It’s not about playing favorites it’s about simply having reasonable expectations. My focus was on special needs parents but it could be applied to all demographics. I was just saying that I don’t feel the world has reasonable expectations of Special Needs Parents. I stand by that. I never said anything about getting things for free. I just wish that sometimes everything going wasn’t an uphill battle. How to level the playing field was something good I was trying to get others opinions. This has been twisted into something it wasn’t meant to be. It was directed at other special… Read more »
Kim Gebhardt
Member

But what expectations would you like that world to have? Define ‘reasonable’, if you will. I’m trying to understand what you feel would be helpful in terms of what is expected of you but I’m having a hard time.
As far as a level playing field, I don’t think such a thing can exist.

Rob Gorski
Member

How about compassion. If the world had more compassion for anyone struggling, life would be better for everyone

Kim Gebhardt
Member

I don’t disagree with that at all. I think the problem comes in with what is considered to be ‘struggling’. That’s one of those things that is very subjective and based on one’s life and attitude. You might consider getting Emmett to wear socks a struggle whereas it’s not as big a deal to the next person, but that person might think getting a flu shot is a huge deal while you and Gavin deal with twice-weekly infusions and a flu shot is nothing. It’s all relative.

kcdnnd
Member

As a parent of two “typical” children who are quite a lot older than my two with special needs, I have parented in both situations. There definitely is not a lot of understanding of what we go through on a day to day basis. And obviously, I am aware there are challenges with all children. But it is definitely different, a whole different ball game, with children with special needs.

Braden
Member

So what would ‘leveling the playing field’ look like? Im quite certain that special needs parenting is difficult, but what I don’t see is what else could be done?

Rob Gorski
Member
There’s a ton of things that could be done. You have to understand that almost everything in the life of a special needs parent is a battle. Even with state insurance, you have to fight for everything. Insurance companies should be forced to provide services for kids with disabilities period. It’s very rare that a special needs parent will feel their child is appropriately cared for within the public school system. We have these things call IEP meeting that can turn into battles because schools want to do the bare minimum required by law and our kids often need much… Read more »
Braden
Member
No offense taken, I asked you answered. From the other side of it…I think the public school system bends over backwards for the special needs kids of the school..and yes, sometimes to the detriment of the other kids. In one school district I lived in, parents would go out of their way to have their kids classified just to take advantage of services offered to only families and children with special needs. Obviously this is my experience with it, I’m sure each area is different…additionally, I do know that since 2011 or 12 that most private insurance companies are covering… Read more »
kcdnnd
Member
I have to say, we have been very lucky with the school system we are in. They have been wonderful with all of my children, special needs and not. It is still a difficult situation. I am a single mom, and low income. I do work, and I have worked pretty much non-stop, since my oldest, who is 19, was about six months old, and it became apparent that her father (my husband at the time) was not responsible enough to provide for us. If I could turn back time, believe me, I would have finished college when I had… Read more »
Rob Gorski
Member

That’s sorta the point I was trying to make. Thanks for your words… ☺

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