Something divorce has taught me

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Divorce was never, ever something I saw on my radar.  Unfortunately, one doesn’t always have the benefit of foresight in regards to things like this. 

While I truly don’t understand what lead to me being dumped on the doorstep of this new journey, I have learned a few things. 

One of the things that I’ve learned is that divorce can bring out the worst in people. 

Sometimes people are forced to pick sides and that’s so unfair.

I don’t understand how anyone could even think there are sides in the first place.  There should never be a line drawn in the sand and people forced to step to either side of it.

I truly believe that at least in my situation, there’s only one side and that’s the side of my kids.  They were drafted into this unfortunate situation, against their will and dragged through Hell on Earth. That’s fucked up. 

The only thing that matters is them.  That’s it. 

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People ask me all the time, why I’m not angry or taking a different approach to things and the answer is simple.  How would it benefit the kids to do anything to the contrary?

This isn’t about me or the boys Mom.  It’s about doing whatever is necessary to help the boys adjust to the traumatic change to their lives and all they’ve ever known. 


That’s why I’m not angry.  That’s why I take the approach to managing this situation that I do.  That’s why there are some things I won’t talk about.  I have nothing to hide because I’ve never claimed to be perfect and I own any mistakes I’ve made along the way (none of which should have even remotely impacted my marriage).

Not talking about some aspects of what happened has nothing to do with respect for anyone else or fear of anyone learning too much. 

I don’t talk about it because it won’t benefit the kids.  In fact, I’m not sure how they would react.. What I know for sure is that these are adult problems and they have no business having this type of knowledge, at least not until they’re older. 

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Taking the higher road isn’t always the easiest path for a lot of reasons, most of which are the result of me being human.

That said, the higher road leads to a more peaceful existence and it’s well worth the personal growth that needs to take place in order to maintain that steady course. 

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