Let me begin my saying this… I firmly believe in the importance of my kids visiting their Mother. I firmly believe that they need to spend time with their grandparents as well. Divorce doesn’t negate the importance of kids having a healthy relationship with both parents and extended families…
That’s not the issue.
The issue is that this ideal gets much more complicated when special needs kids are involved, especially those with Autism.
Weekday visits, in this case, Wednesday night dinners, can make life so much more challenging.. This doesn’t mean that anyone is doing anything wrong either. It’s all about the boys transitioning from one environment to another. There’s a lot of change in a short amount of time and being that it’s every other Wednesday, it’s not often enough for them to sorta add this to their routine..
Today was especially rough because both Elliott and Emmett had homework. Their normal routine with homework (that’s been actually working out well) is that they can pick the time slot that they do their homework in. It’s usually the exact same time slot because they like things scheduled but as long as they do it, we keep moving forward the same way.
On Wednesdays when they have visits, they have to do their homework immediately after school because they have therapy and then go to their Mom’s for a couple hours, returning around bedtime.
This amounts to a total of two days a month but those two days can be hellacious. It’s sorta like Genie from Aladdin saying, he can’t kill you but you’d be surprised what you can live through. It’s rough for me and it’s especially rough for them.
I haven’t been able to get the boys, especially Elliott, into the routine of having a different routine, every other Wednesday. If that even makes sense?
Getting Elliott especially, to sit down and do his homework right away, leads to a massive meltdown in most instances because Elliott very much clings to his routine and schedule.. Maybe it just takes more time for him to get used to it but until he does, this will continue up to be a thorn in my side.
I like the break and the fact that the boys are spending time with their Mom but I really struggle with the fallout. It’s exhausting, stressful and in a perfect world, wholey unnecessary.
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