Why am I so excited that all the boys will be having dinner with their Mom tonight?

The boys see Dr. Pattie tonight before going to have dinner with their Mom and Grandparents. Gavin’s feeling quite relieved that he won’t be left out, due to illness.  Elliott and Emmett will also be relieved that they won’t be going without him. 

Since everything has changed in their/our lives, they tend to prefer sticking together as a group. 

This is why I was so amazed that Elliott went this past weekend, even though Emmett was home sick.  Good for Elliott because that’s a big step forward for him.  Truthfully, if one of them stays home from school, the other does not want to be at school alone.

Anyhow, they will all be going tonight and that’s a shift back to our more typical routine.  Routines are soooooo important for kids on the Autism Spectrum, that they cannot be overstated.

Read This  Awesome is the news I have to share tonight

I’m all about getting them back into their routine be a use its good for them and it’s also good for me as well…. ☺


This site is managed almost exclusively from my Samsung Galaxy Note 5. Please forgive any typos as auto-correct HATES me. 😉

Please remember to visit my Sponsors, Like, Tweet and Share my posts on your favorite social media outlets.

Read This  Here's how the boy's Christmas visitation with their Mom will work

I can’t do this without your help. So, if you like what I’m doing, PLEASE consider supporting my efforts. Click here to find ways you can help for FREE.


  1. Kim Gebhardt

    It seems like them not having a routine is the actual routine at times. I’m not trying to give you a hard time; everyone has surprises or emergencies or just things that make routines impossible at times, but for kids who are in super need of a routine, you really don’t have any more of a routine than the average family.

    Just an observation. : )

    1. You are such a Debbie downer….. ☺

      There’s always routine because there’s multiple routines we have throughout each and every day. When someone gets sick, it sets off a chain reaction sometimes and getting the vast majority of the routines back online is a challenge….

        1. Yes… You always have something critical or negative to say… You can’t just bite your tongue or take the post as what’s it’s meant for. You infer that I’m a downer… You have a glimpse of my life and that’s all. You have no real idea of what it takes to do what parents like myself do..

          I’m certainly not downplaying the challenges you have in your life but this is a blog about special needs parenting, not regular parenting or anything else for that matter.

          1. Kim Gebhardt

            I am far from the only one who is critical of you, I’m just the one who happens to post the most often. That said, I am a realist and I call it like I see it. This is less of a blog to help people than it is a blog where you get to whine and have people call you a hero and the world’s greatest dad. I know that your life is not easy, and I know that your single parenthood is probably worse than the average single parent’s life, but so many of your challenges and mistakes are because of bad decisions you’ve made throughout it all. You are unable to see that because you are living your life one day at a time, but if you were to go back and read your story from the beginning like I did, you’d see the very clear pattern emerge. You blame EVERYTHING on special needs and nothing on yourself. Even when you take responsibility, you follow it up with “but I only made this mistake because of ‘X’, so it’s not really my fault”.

            You may not believe it, but I really do wish you and your boys the best. I hope that they are happy and grow up to be happy adults and lead happy and productive lives. I honestly worry that you’re retarding their growth towards that type of goal because of your tendency to try to fix all their problems (i.e.Elliott’s homework debacle or the common core math issues).

            So, you may think I’m a Debbie Downer and I may think you’re a Wendy Whiner and that’s fine. But please know that I have your boys’ best interest in mind when I reply to you.

                1. dotdash

                  I just do not see how any of us are in a position to know what the truth is about someone else’s life — and what is or is not a huge mistake. We could much more profitably correct our own mistakes than point out the (possible) mistakes of others.

                  First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. Matthew 7:5.

              1. Kim Gebhardt

                I did not lay waste to him and I do wish him all the best. I wasn’t saying that as a way of dismissing him, I was simply letting him know that I wish him and the boys the best. I can disagree with someone’s life choices or decisions and still wish them the best, the two things are not mutually exclusive.

                As for my post being ridiculous, that’s your opinion. I happen to think it’s ridiculous to tell someone how great they are when they’ve made yet another huge ‘mistake’ that has a terribly negative impact on their children.

                1. Kim, as much as you may think you know what’s best, from wherever you’re at, the truth is, you can’t possibly know better than the one who’s actually going through it.

                  While I try to educate the average person, my goal is to relate to other people going through something similar. What you may perceive as whining, 10 other people say, “I totally get it”…

                  I believe you wish the best, I really do. You’re approach tends to make some of the things you say, unhelpful…..

                2. Kim Gebhardt

                  That’s the thing, I don’t think I know what’s best. I have no idea what it’s like to be you, just as you have no idea what it’s like to be me. What I think is that sometimes it’s easier to see something from the outside than it is to try and see it from in the vortex of a tornado. When people deal with something day in and day out, they tend to start to overthink the simplest of problems and Occam and his razor cease to exist. And while my approach might not be the prettiest thing you see all day, it’s real and it’s honest. Maybe I could sugar coat it a bit, but that’s really not my style (as you have no doubt noticed).

                3. Karalyn Fett

                  Honestly, you do ALWAYS have something negative to say. Even on a post as simple as oil diffusers you were condescending and snarky. I don’t think you have good intentions, whatsoever. I honestly have to completely skim over any comments that I see your name attached to because you are ALWAYS nitpicking at something irrelevant. Contrary to your all-knowing belief, you have no idea what is best for this family. At all. Ever. End of story. But Christ do you always make your irrelevant opinion known. You see through a MINUSCULE sized window in to this family’s life and think you just know it all. You do not care about this family’s best interest, you care about picking on an easy, passive target. You whine that he is revered as a good single parent; WHY? Because he literally is. No, maybe he isn’t the only single father of multiple, special needs children in the world, but that’s the beauty of this being HIS blog. This is HIS outlet and HIS space to vent and communicate about HIS problems. Not yours. Not the single dad of 5 down the street. Not the single mother of 40 in the next state over. HIS. And you seem to have a problem with all of it. By now I would just assume this blog isn’t for you. Why follow something you seem to have such a problem with? I don’t agree with all his decisions as a parent, but the great part about that for him, and all of us, is that they are not my children. Nor are they yours. And from my small window they seem as happy as their situation can allow and as healthy as they possibly can be so ANYTHING ELSE that goes on that anyone that is privileged enough to view this medium sees is 10000000% IRRELEVANT. So, our opinions on his parenting do not matter. Yes, even someone as wise and insightful as you. I know, it’s hard to swallow. Maybe take a few days and chew on it to yourself. In silence.

                4. What mistake is that? Sending the boys to have dinner with their Mother? Last time I checked, she gave birth to them and has a right to see them. Whether or not that’s a huge mistake in not for you to decide. Right now, it’s up to myself and the boys therapist until we get everything finalized and have a court order.

                  What I am doing is trying to make the best out of a very complex situation and most people recognize that.

                  Do I want to be doing this? No way… What I want doesn’t matter because it’s not about me. It’s about the three or really two little boys who miss their Mother. It’s not about her in my book either. It’s about them and as long as their doctors and therapists think this is a good thing, I’m 100% behind it.

                  Again, if that’s the mistake you feel I’m making…

            1. Again, you make too many assumptions with absolutely no first hand knowledge.. Are you even a parent? To say that a single Dad with 3 special needs kids has it probably worse than the average family, is why I have such a hard time taking anything you have to say seriously because you haven’t clue.

              How many people have stated that they have both special needs and typical child/children and that it’s not really even comparable… There are challenges in every single day that the typical parent wouldn’t even know what to do with. We all have our challenges and parenting in general isn’t easy.

              Kim, I often wonder why it is you even visit here because while I appreciate when you bring something productive to the table, I just don’t get why you continue to come back and leave your thoughts, they many times aren’t helpful or supportive. I don’t want or need cheerleaders. This isn’t an ego trip as it sounds like you think. I’m one person and all I’m trying to do is share my life and experience, so that others out there, who are going through something similar, know they aren’t alone or that there’s someone out there who gets it.

              If I can educate people along the way, great but that’s not really my main focus…

              The reason people keep coming back is because quite often, I say what they’re feeling. When they read what I’m struggling with or whining about as you put it, they find a great deal of comfort in that whining because it shows them that they aren’t alone. They aren’t the only ones feeling those things or struggling with a particular situation that no one else seems to understand.

              That’s why I’m here. I’ll never convince you or some of the others that I’ve bumped heads with along the way and you know, that’s okay.

              As for having the best interests of my kids at heart, with all due respect, you can’t possibly know what’s best for my kids because if anyone would know that, it would be me and there are many times where even I don’t.

              Kim, you and I will likely always have a love hate thing going on and that’s fine. I appreciate you taking the time to visit and share your opinions. Just remember that it’s just an opinion based on limited information and absolutely no first hand knowledge.. Believe it or not, as messy as my life gets at times, more often than not I know what I’m doing. When I don’t, I get help. Sometimes, no matter how something looks from the outside, unless your on the ground and in the trenches, you just aren’t in a positive to make judgement calls.. ☺

              1. Alyssa Rogers Williams

                Wow, didn’t expect this barrage from such a seemingly innocuous post. 😉 I don’t know how to tag Kim and you Rob via Disqus so I’m just going to reply here.

                I get both sides here somewhat. When I first started reading this blog (former title from CNN link) I came to learn about autism as a woman I know got the diagnosis that her child was on the spectrum. I knew zero about the different degrees and the differentials even within the different aspects. But via the blog (s) it seemed such a rare situation that I kept reading because not only did I get a huge view into an austism household, it was also unbelievable that anyone could go through these things…and then I read Lizze’s blog as there was a link to it and began to be greatly concerned so that I always checked in now and again. I commented way too critically, even though it turns out some of my (and others like Kim) hunches were correct.

                And yes, at first I think 75% of my comments were critical (honestly because I thought Lizze was a huge part of the problem). For that I’m sorry and I still get too pedantic at times.

                However, I have tended to agree with Kim many times up to a point when I realized, “hmmm, I’m sitting here telling Rob what he should or shouldn’t do and he’s LIVING that life we read about and has been for years.” I took a step back and have tried to be more helpful and tactful, before I fire shots across the bow. Really think what it is to be him. Trying to get the minutiae of life (grocery shopping etc) done when you don’t know if one or two kids will freak out, or Gavin needs the restroom 10 times….that’s just to go to the store! That’s even I realized, I’ve got to contribute more in the way of positive solutions. (And some of Kim’s really are or she’s just trying to understand the situation more I think)

                Remember in writing when you cannot see the face of the commenter/texted/writer it’s easy to pigeonhole a style and assign that person traits they may or may not have.

                I think Kim is an erudite thinker who is very logical but her bedside manner is just very blunt and though I know it seems she’s picking on you Rob, I think she is genuine in concern. I really do. She’s had some great insights at times. She’s not trolling like those clowns that came here in the past.

                To Kim I would say, you’re spot on many times but maybe ease up on the bluntness a little. 😉 While I’ve liked many a comment of yours, agreeing with your assessments, it does come off sometimes that you’re zeroing in on faults only.

                There is no doubt Rob is doing the best he can and part of his blog is being a cathartic outlet so cut the slack to let him have those moments. He doesn’t get to meet at Starbucks or the hip bar down the street to talk to his friends about the shitty day he had. WE are the trusted readers he’s sharing with. But remember, we don’t know EVERYTHING. He’s so open it’s easy to assume that but as one who has been critical too, we need to remember his life is no bed of roses and he’s doing the best HE can. Maybe you or I or X, Y or Z would do things differently but they are his choices to make. We can always agree to disagree.

                As Rob often says, there are two sides to all stories and as I write quite a lot, there are also many different facets of writing styles.

                Rob, I know how it must seem to you, and this thread will hopefully prove insightful for all of us. But I hope Kim stays a part of the community and tempers her critiques just a tiny bit, lol. I did and I’m still trying to be less critical and more helpful.


        2. dotdash

          Kim, I don’t know if you know how some of your comments read. Maybe you have the biggest smile on your face when you write, or maybe you intend it in a kindly manner, but plain text doesn’t convey that softening communication and it can come off as blunter and a bit harsher than you probably mean.

  2. mindfulmom

    I think Kim, IMHO, sometimes tries to do a bit of a check with rob regarding the inaccurate reporting that sometimes appears in his blog (ie his report that elliot missed 10 days of school when the report card he showed selliot missed 13 and his teacher was concerned by his absences; times when he will note the boys rarely do something but if you are following the post it is a pretty regular occurrence like emmett school refusal and his not sleeping on his own).
    I also think kim understands that this is a blog about special needs parenting; however rob often states how many people read it and how people write him and thank him for speaking the truth about situations. The problem is the accuracy of the reporting and the defensiveness about it.
    I don’t think anyone believes rob’s life is easy and most of the readers care very much and find it comendable.

    1. As far the report card goes, I didn’t see 13 days. I was estimating the days missed. Certainly not trying to mislead anyone. I don’t care that Kim questions me. It’s all about approach. She’s asked plenty of really good questions but I get frustrated when anyone assumes they either know better or that they’re opinion is correct, regardless of my first hand knowledge of the situation I’m living it.

      The comment in question was about not providing my kids with routine.. How would anyone other than the people in my life know the routines we have. I write about the things I feel are important and perhaps major routines like school, therapies and visits.. There are tons of routines that we have.. Some are small and others larger and more important. Some I know we might have wiggle room on and others that have to be followed to the letter.

      When I write, I allow a glimpse into my life and it’s by no means the full picture. Lost and Tired had more of that because I was at a different place in my life and writing more was something that I enjoyed doing. Anymore, I’m just to tired and burnt out to keep up with every tiny detail.

      As far as accurately depicting what happens, I relate things as accurately as possible. There’s a large part of the time that’s simply a blur, any parent and especially any special needs parents experiences that from time to time. There’s always so much going on that it’s sometimes hard to keep track of things like 13 missed days instead of 10… It’s not misleading and in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t make any difference. I was counting the absences that were unexcused, meaning days he was sick but not sick enough to be seen by a doctor for a doctors note. 13 may have been the total number of absences, I don’t know. I know they’ve been in school for over 100 days and for a special needs child with the emotional disposition that Elliott has, on top of the health issues he’s been having this year, isn’t something that’s unreasonable.

      I just asked on my Facebook page a few days ago, how many day ls their kids have missed this year so far. Even 13 days in on the low end of what some other parents are struggling with.

      People have nit picked things before and sometimes, things like that aren’t 100%. I was asked a question in a comment and I said 10 days off the top of my head. I said 7 to 10 days I think because I was trying to factor Emmett in as well.

      I don’t think that’s something most people would even remotely care about and it doesn’t change the truthfulness or accuracy of what I’m sharing.

      I would imagine that most people in a similar situation would understand that sometimes I don’t even know what day it is.

      Please understand that this isn’t me being defensive because I know that there are plenty of people that read this blog that are in my everyday life, including the staff members at my kids school and know first hand what I’m dealing with. I just want to clarify that my issue with Kim’s comments has everything to do with her approach and some of the assumptions she makes. That’s all. Like I said, Kim has asked some really good questions that made me think and even reevaluate my approach to something. I always try to make sure that I respond and let her know I appreciated the question or that it was a good one.

      Thanks for your thoughts on the the matter and for tactfully presenting them… ☺

Please Share Your Thoughts