Does a diagnosis excuse problem behavior? 



I’m finding myself getting frustrated with the boys behavior. In the case of Elliott, it’s a mix of Autism, sensory, Anxiety, ADHD, and being a pre-teen. It’s sometimes very difficult to know what’s behind the behaviors, mood swings, and other challenging behaviors. 

There’s at least a portion of behavior that I suspect is very typical for the age group, and yet there is a large portion that does seem to have a driving force behind it, that’s outside of his control. 

It’s not easy to know what is what in situations like this, and that’s important for knowing where to draw the accountability line. 



I don’t want to hold my kids accountable for things outside of their control, but at the same time, I don’t want a diagnosis to be an excuse for problem behavior. Society will never accept excuses, and my kids have to exist within society. 

It’s frustrating for me as a parent, because I want to do right by them, but that’s not always black and white. 

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kimmy gebhardt
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kimmy gebhardt

I feel like up until now, you’ve given them a lot of passes for their behaviors because of their diagnoses. I’m not judging that- I understand it- but I do think that until you try to hold them accountable you won’t know which behaviors are autism/anxiety/ADHD related and which are normal kid/preteen behavior.

Sophie
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Sophie

But Kimmy in order to hold them accountable you first need to figure out if the behavior is ASD or bad behavior. And that’s much much harder than it sounds.

kimmy gebhardt
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kimmy gebhardt

I feel like up until now, you’ve given them a lot of passes for their behaviors because of their diagnoses. I’m not judging that- I understand it- but I do think that until you try to hold them accountable you won’t know which behaviors are autism/anxiety/ADHD related and which are normal kid/preteen behavior.

Sophie
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Sophie

But Kimmy in order to hold them accountable you first need to figure out if the behavior is ASD or bad behavior. And that’s much much harder than it sounds.