Until the day I die

Until the day I die

I’m lucky I have no hair because if I did, I’d have ripped it out this morning. Gavin’s already struggling and that struggle is pushing me closer and closer to the edge. I’m trying so hard to do right by everyone in my family but I think that task might just be bigger than me.

Last night, Gavin came to us about midnight, complaining of his chin being ichy. He’s was clearly distressed but not wanting to tell us what was wrong.

After a painfully awkward, completely unnecessary back and forth, he admitted that his beard is what’s causing the itchiness. For some reason, he was embarrassed to say that his beard was a problem.

I told him to shave and slap some lotion on his chin. That should help with the itching. He went back to bed and we didn’t see him again until this morning.

When he did reappear this morning, right before we had to leave for Elliott and Emmett’s doctors appointment, I saw what he’d done.

Gavin had shaved but literally only shaved his chin. He walked down the steps with a part of a mustache and the rest of his beard. We were in a hurry and it was before 8AM so I wasn’t fully engaged yet but feeling very much rushed.

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Kim gebhardt

Where was Lizze that she wasn’t able to get the other boys ready so you could divide and conquer and help Gavin? Also, would it have helped if you had said “go shave all the hair off your face” or has his comprehension slipped along with his other faculties?


I have a feeling that this is something you would have gotten a wry amusement from before, or maybe even laughed at outright. I mean, why would you waste any time or emotion AT ALL on whether an 18 year old had weird facial hair? (They just do. All of them. Some on purpose.) Sometimes, under enough stress, it’s hard to separate the small stuff from the big stuff. I’m worried about you.


The main point I wanted to make was that I think that you would have laughed about this a year ago. Or two years. Which leads me to think you are in a darker place now. It’s worrisome and I worry about you. That’s all.


It sounds like motor planning. A lot of people with autism have difficulty. My adult son still needs to have my hubby help him shave. Actually I’m trying to teach hubby to not do it all for him. Have you tried a social story? It’s really a step by step story with pics & words describing an event which is read, often describing feelings of anger or frustration the person with autism has. You have a lot of events in your life, but the common thread is a need to describe feelings and how appropriately to deal with them. Titles of stories could be ” When I shave myself” “When I go to the Dr. and need a shot” As a speech therapist, I just made up alot of stories for events like “When we have a fire drill”. Carol Gray is the guru of social stories.


So can I ask, why was it a big deal he only shaved the part that was bothering him? Besides looking silly maybe. That seems like a pick your own battles thing

Daino Rosso

Yes, it does.

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