I’m feeling utterly defeated and desperately needing to catch a break

I’m feeling incredibly defeated today and there’s a number of legitimate reasons for that. It’s important to put things into context so here’s a but of background.

Life is tough for my family on a good day. Including myself, there are five people in my immediate family, and four have special needs.

All four are in various places on the Autism Spectrum.

Three struggle with serious anxiety that impacts their daily life.

Three have ADHD.

Three have serious sensory processing challenges that interfere with their daily life.

Two have asthma.

One has food allergies.

One struggles with a very rare fever disorder.

One struggles with Schizophrenia, Childhood Disintegrative Disorder, significant cognitive impairment, Common Variable Immunodeficiency, an extremely rare Autonomic disorder, epilepsy, neuromuscular issues, a blood disorder, Ehlers-Danlos (possibly vascular) and chronic pain.

One struggles with serious chronic pain, fibromyalgia, Ehlers-Danlos, untreatable daily migraines, debilitating stomach issues, menopause, Bipolar disorder and depression.

I personally struggle with depression and lately, increased anxiety.

To say life is challenging would be the understatement of a lifetime. The amount of stress and worry that goes into each and every day takes a toll. The amount of time and energy that goes into managing these challenges is unbelievable.

On most days I feel like I do okay. I’m never enough and that’s a shitty feeling but no one person would be. I used to beat myself up because I can’t meet everyone’s needs but I’ve realized that I’m the only one in my family that feels that way and I’ve learned to accept my limitations. This isn’t anyone’s fault and I don’t blame anyone. I love my family and happily do whatever I possibly can for them.

Unfortunately, there are days where I’m so overwhelmed by everything going on that I can literally feel myself coming apart at the seams.

We’re losing my grandfather right now and I’m helping my parents out as much as I can. I spent the day with my family as they came into town to visit with him. Lizze, with the help of her mom, got Elliott to his appointment at Akron Children’s Hospital. Lizze has been really struggling with her migraine the last couple of days and the trip to Akron pretty much did her in. Her mom hung on to the kids for a bit so I could stay with my family and Lizze could get some rest.

While I’m at my parents, I’m having to manage things for my own household because they’re sorta critical at the moment.

I had to schedule appointments and take care of certain issues, including bills that couldn’t be put off any longer. I’m having to pay only the ones that are absolutely critical because money is really, really tight and I’ve got no wiggle room. The month of December and the first half of January are usually really slow for me in regards to work. My income sorta dries up for a bit but usually begins to recover towards the end of January. For whatever reason, we were hit particularly hard this time and I’m trying to pay bills with money I simply don’t have.

Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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Loretta Lee

I am so sorry you undergoing such pain. I have I daughter in the spectrum and that is so so hard.… https://t.co/2N3kwCkvzC


I’m so sorry. I don’t have as many issues going on as you do — two typical kids and one with high-… https://t.co/HTYWXFMnjz


I hesitate to offer suggestions, because some people are offended at the suggestion they may not ha… https://t.co/8olU9wHQ1s

Rafiat Sule

So sorry about that

Allan J Duggan

Mate, move over , there’s room for 2.
You’re not doing this on your own my friend.
I’m offering my… https://t.co/RVi0a6SGg8

The Divergent

DM me please.


It’s like you can’t catch a break. And your grandfather on top of all you 5 deal with, and you still dealing with the depression and trauma of dental work…makes for too much. Can Lizze’s parents help a little more by watching your sons during this time? (Poor Lizze, my headaches and migraines come frequently but not at the severity hers hit. I’ve had some doozies but the meds I use and the TENS unit help.)

I don’t know your income and I can only guess about things like you and/or family members being on disability and getting Medicaid. Aren’t you all eligible for someone to come to your house an hour or 2 a day to watch Gavin or boys if they are out of school, and give you a little more of a break? Even a couple times a week? (I have no idea what is available for people in your situation. Plus it isn’t something that would happen quickly if at all, so doesn’t fix anything now.)

Anyway, the safety and care for your family come first. You can be there for your grandfather but if you need to be with your kids that is the way it is. I don’t know how conscious he is, but he couldn’t blame you for caring for your family. My husband missed saying goodbye to my dad at the very end, because he had to work 7 days a week, 12 hours a day for awhile and couldn’t travel. My dad wasn’t very conscious, and was on morphine with his end-stage cancer, and I think he would have wanted my husband to take care of us.

Anyway, hold on to all the people you love who love you and they will help you get through this. It’s the only way.